Be Aware of Your Blind Spots (Part 1)

Mark Cole:
John said, I’m not talking about discovery spots. I’m not talking about aware spots. I’m talking about blind spots. A blind spot you cannot see. It’s not an aha moment. It’s not an oh no moment. We’re talking about something that we could not see without what? Somebody else pointing it out to us. Hey, Traci, man, it’s good to have you on the podcast today.

Mark Cole:
Welcome. Are you good?

Traci Morrow:
I am doing great. How are you, Mark?

Mark Cole:
I’m so good. It’s so funny because we’re the tale of two weathers today. And if you’re watching on YouTube, which I’ll tell you how to do that in just a moment, but if you’re watching on YouTube, Traci, as always, John calls her Miss Sunshine, but she’s got sunshine behind her. It’s bright. It looks good. And then Traci, it’s been a little bit of time since we’ve been on the podcast together. She went, I love your background. And she said, our backgrounds are so different.

Mark Cole:
I said, yeah, yours looks like sunshine and mine looks like clouds are about to overtake me and there’s a storm coming into the studio. I hope that our podcast The podcast today doesn’t tell the 2 stories of weather. You bring sunshine and I bring storms.

Traci Morrow:
That’s right. Plants are blooming and blossoming where I am. Mark’s like, rain is dripping down the inside of the cave. That’s right. It’s true.

Mark Cole:
It’s true. By the way, that is our shameless plug to get some of you over to YouTube and enjoy the podcast on YouTube, by the way, which by the way, you can do that at MaxwellPodcast.com/BeAware. It’s where you can find the link to podcast. Hey, seriously, welcome to the Maxwell Leadership Podcast. We do hope to bring Traci to you today with sunshine and lift you up and not black ominous clouds. But we’re so glad that you’re a part of the podcast. I’m really excited for the next 2 weeks, Traci, because our next 2 episodes are going to be committed to things you can’t see. Okay, leaders, here’s what I’m talking about, blind spots.

Mark Cole:
We’re talking about be aware of your blind spots. And today we’re going to go into some teaching with John for part 1. Traci and I’ll come back. some time talking about it, sharing a little bit about blind spots in our lives, how to discover blind spots, how to put the application to what John shares today. And then we’ll come back next episode and we’ll do part 2 of John teaching on how to be aware of your blind spots. If you want show notes, we literally have some fill-in-the-blank show notes that you can take advantage of. We also, throughout the episode today, will reference other podcasts that we have done. We’ll give different tools.

Mark Cole:
Tools for you. You can find all of that at MaxwellPodcast.com/BeAware. Again, thank you for being a part of our podcast community. Share it, send in some questions. We’re starting to dedicate some of our podcasts to your questions, and I’m even starting to teach on questions that you submit. So get involved in the community, be a part of it, pass it along. Add value to others by multiplying this podcast out to people that you know. In the meantime, here’s John.

Mark Cole:
Grab a pen, grab some paper. Traci and I’ll see you right back, right after John’s done teaching.

John Maxwell:
In leadership, everything compounds, everything exaggerates. If you’re good, everything around you and everybody around you gets blessed by it and enjoys the fruit of the land, so to speak. Just as if you’re bad, everybody’s affected in a negative way. So when the leader has a blind spot, which we all do, when a leader has a blind spot, it not only affects him or her, it affects everybody around him or her. In other words, it has what I call not an addition kind of an aspect, it has almost a compounding multiplication aspect to it in a negative way. So let me just give you just a few of my observations on the blind spot. Number 1, most people have blind spots. In my book Winning with People, I talk about several people principles, and one is the lens principle.

John Maxwell:
And the lens principle basically says who we are determines how we see others. In other words, we don’t see others as they are, we see others as we are. That’s very, very true. For example, a strength can also be a weakness, and we’ll talk about that later in the blind spots. For example, I’m a very trusting person, and I have a tendency to view people as very trusting. Now, that’s a good thing, that’s a bad thing. There’s a naiveness there that is kind of nice because you give people the benefit of the doubt. There’s a naiveness that’s kind of real stupid because some people are not trustworthy.

John Maxwell:
But I don’t see you as you are, I see you as I am. And that’s very important as we set up the blind spot, in the fact that the context of that which is around us is not always the realistic context, is how we see it. So that’s very foundational for us to understand the blind spot. We see things in context of ourselves. The mirror principle is another principle, still in the Winning with People book, the first person we must examine is ourselves. Now I have found this to be very true with the blind spot, and I’m gonna quote a great leader, Jesus himself, who said, don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults, unless of course you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. I love that phrase.

John Maxwell:
And then here he goes, here are the keywords. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face, And be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. This is very, very true in the area of blind spots, to be able to say, why can’t they see that? Or why can’t they pick up on that? In the same sense that you know what the other person’s talking about when they’re talking about you. Why can’t they see this? Okay, very important for us to understand the individuality and the personality of— in the context of the blind spot. The second observation about the blind spot is few people see their blind spots. I know I don’t see mine. Every blind spot I think that I have, I never discovered myself. I mean, I didn’t one day just get up and say, boy, I really got a blind spot here.

John Maxwell:
Because if it’s a blind spot, guess what? You don’t see it. That’s why they call it a blind spot. They don’t call it a discovery spot. They don’t call it an awareness spot. And most people, they don’t see the blind spots. I don’t see mine. The greatest fool in life, I believe, is the person who really thinks they see themselves. I don’t think I see myself.

John Maxwell:
I don’t think I see and perceive myself as others see and perceive me. And so I put in your notes here for you, we see ourselves by our intention and we see others by their action.

John Maxwell:
That’s very, very true. We see ourselves in the context of what we thought we should do or intend to do or we’re going to do, or we had thought about doing this. We see others not based on intention but on their action. When I really discovered I had some major blind spots in my life, I developed a question that I ask more than any other question in leadership today. In fact, I’m going to do a lesson sometime on this question. What do you want? Question’s very simple. What am I missing? I ask it every day. What am I missing? Because I literally operate under the assumption anymore that because I have blind spots in my life, there are certain things I’m just missing.

John Maxwell:
What am I missing? Talk to me. I’ve been listening to this for about an hour now. Talk to me. What am I missing? What do I not see coming? So one more little thought before I go to the last observation about the blind spot. We see ourselves within context and we see others without context. We see ourselves with the full benefit of all of the surroundings and all the intuitions and all the thoughts, et cetera. We see others just barely with no other thing existing around them but what they have just done, their action, and what they have just said. Okay, number 3, many people can be hurt by a leader’s blind spot.

John Maxwell:
And the reason is everything is exaggerated in reference to leaders. Influence is compounded, and the more influence that you have, the more people can be affected in a positive or negative way. You’ve got that. I don’t think I need to explain that. I did spend a couple of weeks just thinking about leaders that I know that have been tripped up or messed up or have in some context not done well, and all of a sudden everybody kind of did this turnaround and kind of this, what happened to them? What did they do? And I began to ask myself, is there a commonality of blind spots?

John Maxwell:
They’re individual, but can we just say that for leaders, there are certain areas that a lot of leaders have blind spots in? And I tried to identify some of them, and I’m going to give them to you now. Interestingly enough, the first one I give you, I think, almost always is the main one. So let’s talk about it. A singular perspective. I think the greatest blind spot a leader has— let me just put this in reverse for a second before I teach this. The greatest asset that a leader has is the ability to see other people’s points of views and understand consensus. That’s the greatest ally and asset a leader ever has. To be able to not only know what they’re thinking and what they sense, but to be able to know what the people are thinking and what they sense.

John Maxwell:
A focus that expands beyond this is what I think and this is what I feel as a leader, but really is inclusive, is a great asset to a leader. Because it allows that leader to understand how to lead and motivate others, because you lead and motivate others not from your perspective, but from their perspective. You motivate and lead others not from how you feel about something, but by how other people feel about something. And so the ability to have a wide perspective is the greatest asset a leader has. Well, the blind spot is when a person has a leadership position and they have a singular perspective. Here’s— I want you— here’s what I want you to see the difference. Followers are inward focused. Basically, the follower’s question is always, how will this affect me? Leaders are outward focused, and they have to be asking the question all the time, how will this affect others?

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Mark Cole:
Hey, welcome back, everybody. I really hope leaders— this is really— I have a passion with this content for the leaders out there, the people that your daily actions, your daily work impacts others in a positional leadership way. And John says this, it’s a great quote, as a leader, the first person I need to lead is me. The first person that I should try to change is me. And oftentimes leaders make us default to making everything about others and all the change impacting others. And so, Traci, I told you before we came on that I’m really excited about this. I was a personal consumer listening to John just now.

Mark Cole:
I was not a podcaster. I was actually going, oh man, I need to be listening to this podcast. And so I’m really excited to share with you and talk with you today. Welcome back.

Traci Morrow:
Thank you. It’s great to be here with you and with all of you, our podcast listeners. And I too love this. As soon as I saw that we were going to be talking about blind spots, I got a little thrill because I always love to self-examine. We all have blind spots. And as I listen to John, I’m always struck by how each of us can hear the same lesson and take a different spin. And for me, I feel like John kind of went with the kind of how the negative side of blind spots can be. But every leader is different.

Traci Morrow:
And he kicks it off by talking about how we see others through the lens of how we see ourselves. And he talks about kind of looking maybe with a critical spirit. But there are a lot of us who are positive and upbeat leaders. You’re one of them, Marc. John is one of them. I am one of them. And so, I’m going to kind of take it from that angle. So, not— I don’t tend to look at somebody with a critical spirit.

Traci Morrow:
If I’m looking them and seeing them as I see myself, then I would say that one of my faults and blind spots as a leader is that I see people too positively. And let me explain what I mean by that and package a question in there. So, I believe that there’s another kind of blind spot in there. So, if you’re a loving, people-oriented, healthy, positive leader who sees the potential and best in people, then I would love to hear you talk about the blind spot of believing too long. For hoping beyond reason or waiting on the wall or accepting lip service instead of action that never comes to be in a team member, where maybe people are waiting for you to release somebody or call to accountability somebody, but you are believing in them for too long because you see something in them that they are not rising up and acting on. Does that question make sense?

Mark Cole:
It does. It’s so funny when you were asking that question, it’s weird how your mind works. So you’re asking that question. I don’t know that you were going to ask that question. And as I’m listening to the question, here was my first thought, and then I’m going to answer your question. John Maxwell says often, I don’t hire well, meaning John Maxwell doesn’t hire well. He said, I stopped hiring people a long time ago because I’m so believing in people. I so think that everybody has a 10 on their head that I don’t hire well.

Mark Cole:
I need a critical son of a gun, is what he says. I need a critical son of a gun to come in here and say, that person, you don’t need to hire that person. I really did stop hiring a long time ago. And right when you were talking, I went, you know what? John may not hire well, but I don’t think I fire well. And I have taken that for years as a compliment. I think it stems, Traci, so this is going to be a blind spot moment for me, I believe, even in sharing and answering this question. I’ve never said that word before. I don’t fire well.

Mark Cole:
I think I transition people incredible. Yet at the same time, when you’re asking that question, as I went, I may transition them for the sake of them well, and I think I do. I get some accolades on that. But in transitioning somebody that is not performing well in a role, I let them stay as an underperformer way too long. And here’s why. I’m a people developer. I’m a people developer. And so part of it’s pride.

Mark Cole:
To let somebody go means that I don’t have the ability to develop them into success. It’s pride.

Traci Morrow:
From your perspective.

Mark Cole:
From my perspective. It’s pride because I go, no, I can do this. I can make it. Or, oh man, letting them go is an indictment or a failure on my part. And rather than realizing when you allow someone to stay as an underperformer too long, you are actually causing damage to their emotions, their sense of accomplishment, and the relationships around them. Because an underperformer, oftentimes, I’ve seen it happen too often actually, to where leaders are the last to be aware that something needs to be done about an underperformer. The leader keeps believing that it’s going to be good, and the team around the underperformer is going, can we have a change? Can we have a change? I remember a time in my leadership to where the people were clamoring for a change that I wouldn’t make. You know, John often says, again, this is an adverse paradox for me that I’m having right now.

Mark Cole:
John often says, you promote people when the people around them are clamoring or asking for the person’s promotion. That certainly was true to me. I believe today that I’m CEO because John Maxwell’s assistant, Linda Eggers, kept telling John how awesome of a leader I was. John was too far from the organization. I believe I got most of my promotions because of Linda. In fact, I started making her my employee agent. She became clamoring for every role and everything. I probably need to pay her an agent fee.

Mark Cole:
And so, but I went, you know what? It’s not good. That may be good when people clamor for a promotion, but it’s not good when the people are demanding and begging for a transition and the leader is slow to make that transition. And I’ll be honest with you, I think I have a blind spot in that. That I’m just kind of discovering as you’re asking that question.

Traci Morrow:
So, that leads to make me— makes me think about the mirror principle, where he talks about the first person we must examine is ourselves. Is that something that we should all, as leaders, bring people in and say, invite them to say, hey, I’m going to trust you to tell me that I’m hiring somebody and they have a lot of room for growth. And I’m going to invite you to say when you think it’s time to let them go, or I’m going to give you permission to tell me because this is a blind spot for me.

Mark Cole:
Interesting thing there, Traci, that you did. If you don’t mind, you brought up 2 things there that I would love to share. One is the mirror. How well do I use the law or the principle of the mirror on myself? And then you also brought up, how do you bring people in when you are aware of a weakness or a potential blind spot in you? Let me just separate those into 2 things.

Mark Cole:
One, when you talked about the law of the mirror and how well I as a leader do this, on this podcast, listen to this next 2 On this podcast, I get compliments a lot of times, texts all the time saying, man, thanks for being so authentic on the podcast, man. I didn’t know you struggled with that too. And it’s always on the struggle thing, right? Well, now let me take a minute and tell you how good I am. And I’m just kidding, people, but I really am good at the law of the mirror, like really, really good. In fact, I’m a little too good at the mirror. I’m such a critique of myself that at times it borderlines unhealthy. And so yesterday I was having lunch with a dear friend, an incredible entrepreneur, Spencer Hoffman. He’s built an incredible personal growth business in Mexico, in all of Latin America actually.

Mark Cole:
And we were having lunch yesterday. He said, what’s the thing that you love the most about John? And I said, man, I love his passion for growth. And we talked about that for a while. And he said, what is the thing that you have developed most? while working with John. And I said, it’s how much I need to change and grow myself. I see growth opportunities and growth areas in my life, not daily, hourly. Man, I could have caught that. I should have done that.

Mark Cole:
I wish I would have done that. I am constantly, Traci, constantly have a mirror right here.

Traci Morrow:
Wow.

Mark Cole:
Now again, I’m playing that like I’m pretty good at it. And I really am. Sorry to be so self-absorbed for a moment. I’m not healthy with it. What you’re good at oftentimes also has a downside. And my downside is I am— my self-talk is not good to myself.

Traci Morrow:
Yeah.

Mark Cole:
But how I see myself is good. That’s why this lesson is so important to me, because many times I am so self-focused on what I see, I discount the input on others if it’s not what I already have determined about myself. Now, let’s talk about where the blind spot comes in. I can’t tell you how many times I have been given feedback about myself that I didn’t already conclude that I rejected or diminished because I’ve already done all the self-talk. I don’t need anybody else critiquing me. I’ve already critiqued myself. And so, when I ask the question sometimes that John talks about in this lesson, Traci, what am I missing? Oftentimes, that is a rote task and not a true hunger to learn task. What am I missing so I can confirm what I already know? Not what am I missing so I can discover what I don’t know? And that was a blind spot moment for me just as I was listening today going, man, I’m good at asking, what am I missing?

Traci Morrow:
Amen.

Mark Cole:
But I am not good at the intent behind that question, which should be to discover, not to confirm.

Traci Morrow:
Right.

Mark Cole:
Now, let’s talk about the second thing that you brought up, which is this concept of transitioning people that don’t see and needs to be transitioned. And how do you get better with that by bringing people around you? It’s a very interesting question to me because I do think if we go back to what I was saying earlier, that I’m not great at firing people. When it’s time. I think I do a good job eventually transitioning people honorably and well, but in a timely, a time-appropriate thing, I think I extend too long of a runway to non or underperformers. I think acknowledging that to you, Traci, and several thousand people that are listening to this podcast, I think that—

Traci Morrow:
In this private conversation.

Mark Cole:
What I really— say that again.

Traci Morrow:
In this private conversation, you, me, and thousands of people.

Mark Cole:
What I have realized is I’ve got to do a better job of allowing leaders around me to speak into the timing, not my hunger to develop all people to drive the timing of the transition of underperformers. And that’s an aha moment for me. It’s not an, oh no, but it’s an aha moment to be able to say, you know what? It’s not a blind spot that I need to deal with underperformers, but it’s a blind spot on the timing of a transition of an underperformer. And I need help on that. And I don’t often seek help on that particular area.

Traci Morrow:
Yeah. Which leads me to the follow-up question to that. Because first of all, thank you for that honesty, because we all need to be honest with ourselves in that if we struggle with that. Because that— but it leads into this next question, because if you are a hope-filled, positive leader and you are believing in somebody, you come up to this interesting line. Because if you’ve invited somebody in to speak into that particular area, how do you balance— The voices that might come in then advising you to let someone go or to let a pet project go? Maybe you’re really gripping onto something that you are believing in versus knowing that you are a leader who is seeing more and before your team, because that can be a fine line too. What have you learned from John in, in learning how to discern that fine line?

Mark Cole:
Yeah, it’s truly without a doubt, because it is a fine line.

Mark Cole:
And I, as a leader, have erred on both sides of that line way too many times to count. So the best way I know is in wisdom that’s in the multitude of counsel. It’s wisdom in getting multiple people to speak into it. There was a time that I was transitioning somebody and I wasn’t exactly sure how to transition. I was sure on the timing, but I wasn’t exactly sure on how. And I went back and I made a phone call to somebody that I had transitioned over a decade before that. It was over 10 years that I had transitioned somebody else in a similar position. And I felt like that I did not handle that transition well, not in making the decision or the timing, but in what I did post the transition.

Mark Cole:
I didn’t carry myself correctly. post the transition with that person a decade ago. And I went and I did this. And I remember, and I got so much out of it, which is why I’m telling you. I went to this person and number one, I made it right, but I had already made it right. And I said, hey, I just want you to know that I still think about often, 10 years later, about the incorrect way that I acted post your transition. And I would like to learn from you on a transition that I’m getting ready to make. to make sure I get it right on the other side of the transition.

Mark Cole:
Would you talk me through what I could have done better after a decade of reflection? And Tracy, this, number one, the person is an incredible human being. I mean, who would take time to tell somebody that transitioned them incorrectly what they could have done better a decade later, right? I’m like, get over it. Okay.

Mark Cole:
This person dug deep.

Traci Morrow:
Wow.

Mark Cole:
And gave me so much help that when I did make that transition, how I treated and performed after the transition was a true test. It was very good, by the way, but it was a testament of this person that took time and gave me how I could have done it better with them a decade before.

Traci Morrow:
Wow. That teaches and tells anyway for both sides. For one, just the layers of forgiveness, the layers of asking for forgiveness, and to be able to reflect enough so that, I mean, the bravery of going to that person, that, and that that person was willing to walk through that with you to make you a better leader also makes them a better leader because then they’re going to have to transition somebody as well. And when, rather than holding the grudge of like, and bitterness and resentment, being able to walk that through themselves for their own leadership. That is really powerful. How many people actually do that? Kudos to both of you in that. Okay. Do we have time for another question?

Mark Cole:
Yeah, let’s do.

Traci Morrow:
Okay.

Traci Morrow:
So, I would guess just in— he talks about many people can be hurt by a leader’s blind spot. And I just thought, You kind of gave that example of how that person could have been hurt by it and how you processed it through in such a healthy way. But let’s just end on how have you, what ways have you seen a leader’s blind spot, either personally from you as the leader, but also having leaders in your own past, hurt the team’s belief, morale, and productivity in such a way? And then how do you climb back out of that and get momentum back, get belief back? Get trust back.

Mark Cole:
You know, Traci, I’m going to touch on about 3 things right here as we wrap the podcast up with that question.

John Maxwell:
Okay.

Mark Cole:
And it may to our podcast listeners feel a little bit like a shotgun, but I got a couple of things that I want to— in other words, it’s spread out. I got a couple of things I want to answer with that right here. Number one, I want to make a confession. My greatest area of impatience is leaders that won’t acknowledge blind spots.

Mark Cole:
Now, again, I told you earlier that I’m great at self-critiquing, the law of the mirror. I’m great at it, too great at it at an unhealthy rate, but I am not very good with leaders that won’t acknowledge blind spots. John said something. So that’s number one. That’s a confession. I’m not very good with leaders that won’t acknowledge blind spots. Leaders on my team, specifically leaders of people who have a responsibility to get it right, not be right. And leaders that are not passionate about getting it right in their life and their leadership rather than being right and all the followers are wrong.

Mark Cole:
Oh, Traci, it’s a hotspot. I’m getting myself all worked up right now. But John said something to me in this lesson that I’ve heard him teach on blind spots before, listening to this today, it struck me different today. John said, I’m not talking about discovery spots. I’m not talking about aware spots. I’m talking about blind spots. A blind spot you cannot see. It’s not an aha moment.

Mark Cole:
It’s not an oh no moment like we treat most blind spots, which is an awareness of something we already knew. We just didn’t know it would manifest like that. We’re talking about something that we could not see. without what? Somebody else pointing it out to us. So now let’s fast forward that. I’m working with leaders that say, Mark, you’re the best leader I’ve ever had. You see me. You see more potential in me than I’ve ever seen.

Mark Cole:
And they give me all these kudos of how well I’ve led them and how well I’ve developed them until what? Until I point out something that they don’t like. And then all of a sudden I lose all credibility in their life. I lose all ability to give them insight that they can’t see on themselves because I have found, and this is what I discovered in this lesson today, gang, it’s less about blind spots than it is about a leader’s attitude toward feedback. Podcast listeners, I’m not going to ask you if you see your blind spots. You don’t. You can’t. I’m going to ask you, what’s your feedback? What’s your attitude toward feedback? If it’s something you already had an inclination of, you probably have a pretty good attitude toward it. But if it’s something in an area that you cannot see, do you have an open attitude, a good attitude, or a resistant attitude toward feedback that you can’t see? And that’s the ticket.

Mark Cole:
And I just had this aha moment of why I get so frustrated with the leaders on my team when it’s It’s my responsibility as the leader in their life to point out blind spots that are negatively impacting their people. And they throw up all the resistors. And now I know they don’t have an attitude, a good attitude toward feedback. If you don’t have a good attitude toward feedback, you have more blind spots than you can even imagine because people will stop telling you your blind spots. when you give them a negative attitude toward feedback. So you’re walking around and there’s a chair right in front of your leadership and you’re not going to see it because you refused to keep a good attitude toward feedback at some area in your life. And so isn’t that interesting? I mean, that is truly an aha for me in this lesson.

Mark Cole:
Podcast listeners, we’ve probably overstayed our welcome. There is a couple of application questions that I want to give you, Traci, our team want to give you. And I just want to slow down and ask these questions because I want you to jot it down. These are great application questions to being aware of blind spots. Question number 1, when was the last time you genuinely examined yourself before examining someone else’s behaviors or motives? When is the last time you took first something you didn’t like? Did you take first the attitude of, what am I missing in myself? Before you delivered what other people are missing? The second application question I want to ask you is, what’s one way you can shift from inward-focused thinking, my results, my reputation, my comfort, to outward-focused thinking, their growth, their needs, their success, today? I want you to do it today. I want you to create a shift in your leadership. up that is less about what is in it for you and more about what is in it for them. I think that’ll help you.

Mark Cole:
By the way, there’s one other episode that we did that comes to mind if you want to go deeper until next week. And that episode is How Self-Awareness Sets Great Leaders Apart. How Self-Awareness Sets Great Leaders Apart from others. We’ll put that in the show notes. Thanks for joining us today. Be with us again next episode where John will pick up part 2 of Be Aware of Your Blind Spots. And until then, lead well.