The Qualities of an Authentic Leader

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Mark Cole:
Welcome to the Maxwell Leadership Podcast. Our podcast is truly committed to you, podcast listener, podcast viewer. We want to add value to you in today’s episode with a belief that when we add enough value to you, you’ll go multiply that value to others. Hey, I’m here with Chris Robinson. I’m so excited because John’s going to challenge us with 5 qualities of an authentic leader, and you’re going to love it. Grab a pen, grab a piece of paper, grab a tissue. Some of us may be convicted, but it’s going to be a great lesson. And Chris, I Personally, one of the things I love about you is your authenticity.

Mark Cole:
So I’d love it. So those that don’t know Chris, he’s the leader of our 61,000 coaches, women and men all around the globe. And what’s the one thing, speaking of authenticity, what’s the one characteristic, what’s the one thing about your leadership that you wish everybody knew and why?

Chris Robinson:
I wish everybody knew. Oh my goodness, that’s a good question. I guess if I said, hey, if I wish everybody knew, if I was speaking to the coaches, I had all 61,000 1,000 in, in one room, I really wish they knew how much time I actually think about them and consider them.

Mark Cole:
Wow.

Chris Robinson:
And their journey and their path. Like, I mean, it, it is everything to me, um, to, to serve this team. Like, this team has served me, and it allowed for me to live a life and to obtain and be able to add value to people like nothing else that I’ve ever experienced. And Now for me to get to do that and get to see that transfer through other people, seeing them quit jobs, seeing them increase their businesses, seeing them multiplying value to others, there’s nothing like it on the planet. So on any down day that I get, I’m going, man, I just go and look at the results of the members and I go, man, I’m doing it because of this. And so if there’s one thing I wish that people could see, it’s just like how much time I actually do think and help members each and every single day.

Mark Cole:
Well, I never ask a question without being prepared with an answer, Rome, but I’m not giving an answer after that one. Mic drop. Hey, for all of you that are listening today, watching today, what do you wish everyone knew about your leadership? What is it? What is that thing? When you, Chris, were answering that question, I thought about John, and I think the thing that I wish everyone knew about John is how much he loves people, how much he truly— John has this phrase. He says, “Hi, I’m John Maxwell and I’m your friend.” He means it. It’s not just a cliché that everybody now finishes. It’s authentically, he wants them to know, I’m not your leader. I’m not your guide. I’m not your guru.

Mark Cole:
I’m not your mentor. I’m your friend. And that’s a statement of equality. That’s a statement of valuing the other person. That’s a statement of putting them both on the same field that let’s just walk together in this journey of about your leadership? And so when you answered that so authentically, I thought about John’s and I went, I’m not answering mine, man. I feel silly. Hey, seriously, I hope you pause and take a moment. What is it that you want people to know about your leadership? John’s going to talk about qualities of authentic leadership.

Mark Cole:
Grab a pen, grab a paper. Maybe on that piece of paper, why don’t you jot down like Chris did, what is the thing that you wish people knew about your leadership? If you would like to download our bonus resource today, if you’d like to watch us on YouTube, if you’d like to take advantage of the different things we’ll talk about today and click the links. We’ll put all of that at MaxwellPodcast.com/Authentic. All right, are you ready? 5 characteristics, 5 qualities of authentic leadership. Here’s John Maxwell.

John Maxwell:
Let’s talk about the qualities of an authentic leader, because authenticity is the only thing that will guarantee long-term success. This fake it till you make it just isn’t going to work. And so let me tell you what I think the qualities of an authentic leader are. And I think that the first quality is heart leadership, that you lead with the heart. Well, I think an authentic leader they not only lead with the heart, but they’re not afraid to dig deep and lead their team with courage and with empathy that only comes from a heart that really wants to help people. You put your heart out front in your leadership. You don’t put your hands out first, you don’t even put your mind out first, you put your heart out first. I think another quality of an authentic leader is good listening skills.

John Maxwell:
Wow, maybe if anything is needed today, more than anything else in our culture, is good listening skills, because I think what we have right now in our culture is yelling skills. And we just kind of yell at each other and point at each other, and we’re so divisive. And good listening skills means that I’m willing to consider your thoughts. It shows maturity in my life. And not only am I willing to listen to your thoughts, I’m even willing to, I’ll change my opinion if your thoughts make good sense to me. Great leaders are great listeners. In fact, the process of a great leader is they listen, they learn, and then they lead. You see, they don’t lead first, they listen first.

John Maxwell:
They wanna find out where the people are. They learn, they ask questions, and then they have this incredible foundation now to lead well because they know exactly They found the people so they can lead the people. So I think the qualities of an authentic person and leader is that they have heart leadership, they have listening skills, they have transparency, they’re just open, and they don’t try to cover. They know what it’s like to say, I was wrong. I missed that, I’m sorry. I would almost say that the core of all of these qualities is humility, and just the ability to be teachable, the ability to ask forgiveness, the ability to ask permission to enter into somebody’s life and try again. These are all qualities. Consistency, that’s another.

John Maxwell:
Beautiful quality, I think, of a person that is authentic. Consistent people, they stay with their values and they stay with their principles. Wow. And then I just close with, we’re talking about qualities of an authentic leader, okay? And these are good, the heart leadership, listening skills, transparency, consistency, and then integrity. And I’m going to read just a paragraph in closing out of Jamie Kern Lima’s book, book on “Believe It.” Again, you wanna get that book. And she quotes a person that I enjoy very much, and I’m sure you do too, Brené Brown. And here’s what she says. Brené Brown says, “Owning your truth and sharing it even when it’s hard is the only way to truly connect with another human being.

John Maxwell:
An authentic connection is the key to love. When you hide important parts of who you are, You can’t ever have authentic relationships because that other person is loving someone who isn’t exactly you. We hesitate. Well, what if they won’t love us as we truly are? But when we have to ask ourselves what’s worse, losing that person or losing the chance for true authentic love the rest of our lives? We are born with a need of human connection. So if you’ve been scared to show up fully and authentically as the real true you, then you’re robbing yourself of that real human connection. Wow. Authenticity alone, it won’t guarantee your success. But if we lack authenticity, it will guarantee our failure.

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Mark Cole:
Hey, welcome back everybody. I probably will open this segment of application and close it with the same quote by my friend, Pat Lencioni. He says, “People will walk through fire for a leader that’s true and a leader that’s human.” And I’m really struck by that, both in how you answered the question, how I think John answers the question about friendship, being the key characteristic of his leadership, which is all a statement of valuing others. And I’m really excited to kind of go through. You heard heart in that answer, and that’s the first one that John touches on.

Chris Robinson:
That’s what he leads with is with heart leadership. And this one, he talks about leaders not being afraid to lead their team with courage and empathy. So let’s just give me an example from John, how you’ve seen him live this out, because immediately when I heard the word heart leadership, His face popped up for me.

Mark Cole:
Yeah, I’m with you. Me too.

Chris Robinson:
So give an example how John’s lived this out in front of you with heart leadership.

Mark Cole:
Well, I think that it really does come to courage. John says you can’t ask for a hand before you touch a heart. I’ve watched John. John is the consummate sales guy. We’ve laughed. We’ll have to tell some more David, your son’s stories about his ability to sell and to make business. It’s just absolutely wonderful how you’re training 61,000 entrepreneurs, but you’re doing it home too. Speaking of product of the product.

Mark Cole:
But John loves to sell, loves to do it. But I’ll never forget the time, Chris, I’ll never forget the time I was getting customer service complaints after customer service complaints. All John wants to do is sell his books. All John wants to do is sell stuff at the back of the room. And I just had this moment with John. I was only with John for 2 and a half, 3 years at the time, riding in the back of a car in Kansas City, Missouri, close to your place. Kansas City, Missouri. We’re getting ready to go have barbecue.

Mark Cole:
And I looked at John and I said, “John, I got to ask you a question. Why do you always sell books? Why do you always, when you’re speaking, why do you sell something?” He said, “Mark, I owe it to the people to give them something that will last longer than my words. I’ve got to give them something.” Even his passion to sell was baked in his authenticity of heart for people. And he never let people accuse him of overselling. He never let them put that weight on him. He knew he was challenging people to invest in the value in themselves that he saw in them. It was all heart. And that’s why to this day, 50 years of this, he continues with the Longevity Go.

Mark Cole:
It’s because he’s authentically from the heart. But here’s how that wraps with courage, Chris. I think that you have to have the courage to stay true to yourself when everybody else wants to define yourself. They want to mislabel you and they want to change you. And if you don’t have courage to stay true to your heart, and there’s only really— now I believe in God as many of us do, you do. God knows the condition of our heart. But outside of the Lord in human world, we know our heart more than anyone else. Every one of us, podcast viewers, listeners, you know your heart.

Mark Cole:
And when you know your heart, you have to have courage to stand true to that heart, even when everybody else wants to misidentify your heart. Wow.

Chris Robinson:
That’s good. That’s good. Let’s move to this next one here. This one I want to touch on briefly because we talked about it a little bit on a previous podcast about listening. But in this one, John talks about great leaders don’t lead first, they listen first. So In this one, I want to talk about what’s the cost of leading first and what do leaders miss when they skip listening?

Mark Cole:
So I think what you miss when you don’t listen first is you miss the best idea winning. If your answer, if your conclusion is always the best conclusion, you’re living a small life. So what you miss is a better idea when you don’t slow down and listen. You don’t listen to group collaboration. You don’t listen to the creativity of another person. Therefore, you are stuck with whatever’s inside of you. And for some of you, you’re pretty proud of being stuck with whatever’s inside of you. Congratulations.

Mark Cole:
But if you’re the inspiration of all of your life, your life has a shelf life and it’s shorter than you think. But the other thing I think we miss when we don’t listen is we miss blind spots within us. We miss truly being able to get better, but we miss how we are limited in our current thinking. And I’ll tell you what’s worse than not getting better, it’s being stuck within yourself. And people that don’t listen, they get stuck. I think probably from a leadership thing that we miss the most is we miss the opportunity to show people they matter, to show people their value. When you stop and honor someone else by listening to them, there is an increase of felt, perceived, realized value in that person that we miss as leaders. And I haven’t taught this yet, but I want to.

Mark Cole:
I’m going to. I was struck by a question. John and I were doing a Q&A recently in front of a large crowd, and I do a lot of Q&A with him now. And they said, what’s the best way to listen? And I briefly touched on it. I’m going to teach on it at some point. You’ve got to listen with your ears. That’s easy. You got to listen.

Mark Cole:
You got to listen with your mouth. You got to speak back what you heard. And you got to listen with your eyes. See, people say more with their facial expressions, with their hand gestures, and with their emotions than they say with their words. Most leaders try to listen with their ears, but you want to be a great leader, you’ll listen with your ears, your mouth, and your eyes to really get what someone is saying. Therefore, when you ask the question, what do we miss when we don’t listen first? Yes, there’s the best idea wins. Yes, there is you hear blind spots about yourself, but the biggest payoff to listening for a leader is you increase the value of the people you’re leading.

Chris Robinson:
Wow. Incredible, man. Hey, that’s a good teacher right there. I want to see you expand on that one. I see that one coming to a stage near us. That’s outstanding. This next one here, we talk about transparency. All right, so what does healthy transparency include and what does it not include? Because I think sometimes we just when we hear the word, hey, we got to be transparent, that means open up the whole book and let everybody know everything at every moment.

Chris Robinson:
But as leaders, sometimes it’s not best to share everything. And so talk to me about that. What’s healthy transparency include? What does it not include?

Mark Cole:
I think number one, it comes down to motive, to be honest with you. I think transparency comes to motive. When you were saying that, I was struck by a quote I use all the time. I’ve used it probably hundreds of times on this podcast. Max Dupree says, Leadership is about disappointing people at the pace they can stand, right? We disappoint people. Oftentimes we are transparent with people because we’re trying to prove a point and we’re trying to make ourselves look better. And therefore we don’t realize that our oversharing, our complete transparency, because the motive is not for you to feel to feel seen, to feel heard. The motive is for me to look better in your eyes, and therefore we actually do more damage with oversharing than what is really needed in authentic transparency.

Mark Cole:
See, authentic transparency is being transparent so I don’t hide something from you. That’s authentic transparency. If my motive is to share with you because I don’t want you to have misconception of me or a preconception of me that is not accurate, then I believe oversharing in that case will always win in the long term. I may shock someone with my transparency, but because the motive is to not be hiding from you, it’ll win eventually. Maybe not immediately, but it’ll win. If I overshare with you because I’m trying to prove a point of how good I am and somebody else is bad, in other words, I overshare at the expense of someone else, I think that’s bad transparency. If I overshare something with you that you’re not ready to hear, I think it’s selfishness. We want to share and we don’t consider the impact of my transparency with you.

Mark Cole:
And oftentimes we weaponize transparency. We don’t utilize transparency. We don’t endear people with transparency. We weaponize. We weaponize and then use it against other leaders that we want to look better than. We weaponize it against followers that are not at the stage of leadership that we are. And we overuse it Never use transparency under the guise that we’re just trying to put it all out there. No, your motive is trying to overshare to impress someone, to suppress someone, or to not be aware of what people can handle in the area of transparency.

John Maxwell:
Wow.

Chris Robinson:
Incredible. Incredible. I love it. I love it. He says humility is the core engine of all these qualities. So how can a leader practice humility without becoming passive or indecisive? There’s a pendulum swing when it comes to humility, but how does someone do that?

Mark Cole:
Yeah, I think it’s so interesting, Chris. I think you’re an incredible humble leader. I think you exude gratitude, which I think is an attribute, a big attribute of humility. I think you listen. I think that’s another attribute. I’ve watched leaders, in this concept of humility mischaracterize humility as weakness. And I believe it’s absolutely the opposite. I think humility is strength.

Mark Cole:
I think it is courageous. I’ve watched other people misuse humility as indecisiveness. Well, I don’t know. What do you think? And I’ve watched that form of humility actually do more damage to the strength of leadership. Humility is not about not knowing. Not decisiveness. Humility is not about a weakness, but humility in its true form of strength is actually a gap closer between success of position and depth perception of somebody that’ll never be able to lead like that. When you exhibit humility, you and I are leaders in one of the most sought-after leadership brands in the world.

Mark Cole:
And when we express gratitude and awe at being able to lead in that, that humility actually shows a strength that compels people to come take a journey with us. And that’s what most leaders miss about humility is the strength of humility, the connectivity of humility, and the accessibility of humility. And when you get those, now you have people going, wow, I will follow that guy. I will follow that lady because they are somebody that is accessible to me. Wow. Wow.

Chris Robinson:
Come on, you’re teaching today, Mark.

Mark Cole:
You and I together.

Chris Robinson:
I love it. I love it. Let’s go here. Let’s get it wrapped up with this one here on integrity right here, because integrity, we’ve all heard the phrase is who you are when no one’s watching. And integrity can can be tough, integrity can be easy, but what’s the hidden ROI, the hidden return on investment of integrity that leaders forget to count?

Mark Cole:
Oh, the hidden ROI of integrity. Wow. Okay, so first let me say this. I’ve heard integrity taught for years as if it’s a moral aspiration or an ethical aspiration. And certainly I want my integrity, Mark Cole’s integrity, to be about morals and ethics. But that’s not what real integrity means, because steel can have integrity. A building can be integrous. A car can have integrity for the way it was created.

Mark Cole:
I happen to like BMWs, the ultimate driving machine. But let me tell you something, when it’s broke down on the side of the road, like a BMW I had one time, that’s not very integrous to the ultimate driving machine because I’m not going anywhere. So a car can have or not have integrity. So I don’t think it’s fair to use morals and ethics as a descriptor or a definition of integrity. Again, although that’s what I want people to say about my integrity is I have morals, I have ethics, I have a sense of character, no doubt about it. But ethics in leadership, or excuse me, integrity in leadership, I think really is about doing and being leaders that are for other people. We’re sitting, Chris, it saddens you and I, we talk about it offline all the time because we don’t like to go into the political space and even in the religious space because the perception of leaders in that space is the wrong perception of leaders. You and I, it grieves us to watch our world leaders and how they treat people.

Mark Cole:
It grieves us. And let it be said here, it grieves me how it is. I don’t want to get into political discourse about that. I want to get into leadership discourse because I believe when someone is integrous with their leadership, here’s what the hidden ROI is to your question, which is a brilliant question. You ready?

Chris Robinson:
Yeah. There we go.

Mark Cole:
Loyalty goes back to the quote of Pat Lencioni. People will walk through fire for a leader that’s true it’s not true and human. Integrity. Leaders are human. They’re not deity. Leaders are influencers. They’re not positional. Leaders are servant, not go first.

Mark Cole:
All the definitions of leaders that are being defied by so many of our political, religious, business leaders is not true and it’s not human. But give me a leader That’s true. Give me a leader that is accessible. They’re human just like me. They don’t lord their position over me. Show me the fire. I’ll walk through it. That’s why I think that Lencioni got it right when he said, people will walk through a fire.

Mark Cole:
People will demonstrate loyalty. So the greatest ROI, I believe, to stay in Integris is people that’ll stand back to back with you, shoulder to shoulder with you, foot to foot with you, and go into battle with you. Because they know they can trust who you are in adversity. They know they can trust who you are in triumph because you stay integrous. Wow.

Chris Robinson:
That’s good.

Mark Cole:
That’s good. Now I want to close this with saying you and I get to work alongside one of the most integrous leaders that I know. I know John Maxwell. I know what he is behind the scenes. I know what he is in front of people. And what you see is what you get.

John Maxwell:
Right.

Mark Cole:
My challenge to all of you that are leaders today, one is that John wrote a book called 21 Qualities of a Leader. It’s kind of the companion, if you will, to one of his bestselling books, 21 Laws of Leadership. Wade, I really want to get that into our show notes, the 21 Qualities of a Leader. It’s not in our show notes yet, but we’ll put it in the show notes. What I’ll do is the team will give you a discount If you buy that, that book will help you understand qualities of what a real leader looks like. And I want to do that. We had an episode, a podcast episode that I want to share with you, 5 Ways to Win with People. And I want to share that with you because that will help you be an addendum to this.

Mark Cole:
Go back, search for that podcast, 5 Ways to Win with People. It’ll help you. Damien, is one of our podcast listeners. Damien listened to the podcast. We’ll put this in the show notes as well, Principles That Guide Your Life. And here’s what Damien said. Attitude is everything. Chris, you love that.

Mark Cole:
You’re Mr. Attitude. Attitude is everything. The right attitude develops the right belief, which creates the right character for success. Damien, you’re spot on. I’m honored that you’re a podcast listener. Thank you for viewing us. Listening.

Mark Cole:
Go make a powerful, positive change in the world around you, because everyone deserves to be led well.

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Transcript created by Castmagic.