What You Focus on Expands (Part 1)

Mark Cole:
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Mark Cole:
Inside this guide, you’ll find three simple exercises to discover what you can delegate today so you can enjoy summer tomorrow. Just text the word Maxwell to 55123 for your free copy today. That’s Max W E L L to 55123 to have your best summer ever with Belay. Hey. Welcome to the Maxwell Leadership Podcast. Our podcast is truly committed to adding value to you over the next 35 minutes. Our goal is to bring something to your awareness that will make you better, that will inspire you, that will, we say, add value to you. Now I must admit there’s a hook to that.

Mark Cole:
We want to add value to you so that you will multiply value to others. Our goal today at Maxwell Leadership is when we add value to you, there is a sense of responsibility you feel to go make it better and multiply it by spreading it around the people that you are connected with. Today we’re going to do that because John Maxwell for the next two weeks is going to teach us on this concept. What you focus on expands. Now, this week we’ll talk about points one and two in his teaching and I’ve got to tell you, both of them are talking about the relationships that you have. Next week we’ll talk more about something that you personally do and then we’ll wrap it with another relational component. But over the next two episodes, I want to challenge you that what you focus on will actually expand. Do you focus on good things? I believe good things will expand if you focus on challenging things, on difficult things, I believe that the difficult things will get bigger.

Mark Cole:
That’s a concept. It’s a principle. And we’re going to demonstrate that by demonstrating that my co host today is a guy who has absolutely one of the best abilities to focus on positivity, on encouragement. In fact, John Maxwell and I call Chris Robinson Mr. Attitude. And Chris is going to take a journey with us over the next two weeks on helping us talk about what you focus on expands. Now, if you want to download a free bonus resource to today’s lesson or even watch Chris Robinson and I on YouTube, you can go to MaxwellPodcast.com/Expand. You’ll be able to take that in, see some other resources that will help you.

Mark Cole:
But let’s go. Here is John C. Maxwell.

John Maxwell:
You hear me talk about the fact that what you focus on expands. Okay, we want to focus on four things. I’m going to give you four very simple things that if you do it, I promise you, it’s just going to be a good year. So what you put in front of you expands. What you put behind you, as I’ve taught you before, shrinks. So there are a lot of things you shouldn’t do, but there are four things I want you to put in front of you that you should do. So let’s go all simple. Number one, spend time with the right people.

John Maxwell:
I can’t think of anything that will upgrade you more than being in a room in a place where the right people are there. So as I knew I was going to teach this part, I thought to myself, well, who are the right people for me? Okay, make a list of the qualities of what a right person looks like. For example, let me give them to you. There are six of them. When I think of the right person for me, or hopefully for you, the first thing I think of is unconditional love, that this person unconditionally loves me. And there’s just something incredibly nourishing about unconditional love and the fact that you know that you’re always going to be cared for, that you’re always going to be accepted. And so for me, unconditional love just makes a right person. When I know that they love me because they just love me without any strings attached, that’s the right person for me.

John Maxwell:
The second I know right person quality is that they add value to my life, that when I look at them, my life is better because I know them. My life is better because we spend time together. My life is better because they intentionally are a plus in my life. They add value to me, and I just migrate to those people because they make me a bigger person. They make me a better person. The third picture of a right person for me, again, this is I’ve just given you examples, you can have your own right person quality category. The third quality that really is important to me is that they continually grow, that they are truly a person that just grows. They grow in their life.

John Maxwell:
They’re always learning, they’re always practicing. They’re always improving their life. I love to be around growing people. They’re the right people for me. Number four is that they walk my journey. And even if they don’t walk my journey, at least they love my journey. They love the journey that I’m on, which means that they’re cheering me on and supporting me, and they connect with me because they love the journey that I take. And they say, hey, let me walk with you on that journey.

John Maxwell:
Doesn’t mean they’re on the staff, but. But they love the trip. They love the journey. Number five is that they really enjoy life, that life is meaningful to them and that they love it. And they’re always ready for another new experience. Hey, they’re always ready for a football feast or whatever is going to happen, but they’re going to enjoy life. They’re going to maximize it. They’re going to take it and wring it out.

John Maxwell:
They just enjoy life. And then the last quality is the fact that they give me energy, they refuel me. So when my tank is empty, my mental tank, emotional tank, spiritual tank, whatever is empty, they know how to fill it up. Now, those are six qualities of what I call a right person. I don’t know if there’s anything better, really don’t know if there’s anything better than just being with the right people and having them around me. Big people make you feel bigger. They just do. So that’s number one.

John Maxwell:
Number two, say what you need to say. As I’ve gotten older, this has been something I’ve greatly improved in my life. I used to be careful what I said, and I always wanted to be nice, kind, appropriate, a lot of things, which, by the way, that’s not a bad thing to be. But a lot of times I wasn’t honest. Like I needed to be honest with the person. And a lot of times I. It didn’t help a person become aware of their weak areas because I wouldn’t talk to them about their weak areas. A lot of times I wouldn’t ask questions I needed to ask.

John Maxwell:
And so saying what you need to say, I think is really important. And I’ll tell you what really was catalytic for me when I was young is I went to a conference, okay? I had the 10th largest church in America and I was 28. So I, I go to a conference with these pastors of these big churches throughout America. And I was the only kid in my 20s, there was nobody there in their 30s. There were some in their 40s, most of them were in their 50s and 60s. And so they were old enough to be either my father or my grandfather. And they were bigger than me, better than me, faster than me, smarter than me, more experienced than me. And instead of me going down and mixing with them and asking questions and, and really learning, I just was silent and I would listen to them and I took notes.

John Maxwell:
But as I was taking notes, there were things I thought, boy, I need to ask this question. Well, I need to say this and ask them, am I on the right track or I’m on the wrong track. Instead of doing any of that, I didn’t say anything, I didn’t ask anything. And it was literally a 10 hour drive from where the conference was to where my home was. And I had 10 hours. And on that 10 hours going back home, I felt so defeated, so discouraged, I thought I didn’t learn near what I could have learned if I would just said what I needed to say. If I would have looked at him and said, look, I need some help in this area. I don’t understand how to do this and could you talk to me about what you learned in this area? I just didn’t say what I needed to say.

John Maxwell:
And, and I came to the conclusion that I didn’t say what I needed to say because I lacked courage. I just lacked courage because I thought, well, if I ask a question, maybe it’s a real stupid question, if I make a statement of what I’m doing in the church, those guys may look at me and say, oh my gosh, I did that 30 years ago. Let me tell you something, that works a lot. I just didn’t speak up. You need to say what you need to say. It’s going to help people. And you know that I teach that there’s no such thing as self awareness, that if there’s any area that is a blind spot in my life that I’m aware and I work on, it’s because somebody talked to me about it. You know, it’s a blind spot.

John Maxwell:
If it’s a blind spot, I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t even see it. You can’t fix what you don’t see. But when people say what they need to say to me and talk to me about my shortcomings and things I need to change and improve in the area. They help me. They help me. So I want to encourage you to, you know, we have several voices. Okay, one voice, but really several voices.

John Maxwell:
I want to encourage you to use what I call your gift voice. Your gift voice is about your strengths. I need you to talk to others about what you do well, because what you do well needs to be transferred to others who can do it better. And so how many times have I not spoken to others about my strength? And I’m just kind of laid back and I didn’t equip them. You equip people off of strengths. You counsel people off of weaknesses. So with your gift voice, I want you to use it. Start speaking your gift voice.

John Maxwell:
And I want you to start using what I call your character voice. And your character voice is the voice that. That has a conscience, that is aware of good values. It’s truth. It’s doing the right things for the right reasons. And so you have a character voice, and you need to stand up for that. And then you have an experienced voice. That’s the voice that tells about the things that you have learned on life’s journey, that you’re connecting the dots for others.

John Maxwell:
If you use that experience voice, speak up the heart voice. Use the heart voice. This is how you feel about people. You know, wow, I know so many times we love someone, but we don’t tell them we love them. That’s my heart voice. You know, when’s the last time you’ve spoken to somebody you loved and just, you know, spoke up and used your heart voice? Then there’s your dream voice. Your dream voice is the things that you feel that you would like to accomplish in life. It’s the stars.

John Maxwell:
It’s what you’re going for. It’s, you know, it’s your dream. You speak up. You know, if a prophet have a dream, let him tell it. The question voice. I talked about that in my exchange encounter. I didn’t ask enough questions. You know, I need to ask more questions.

John Maxwell:
And then your leadership voice, you know, leadership voice is needed because people need clarity in their life. They need direction in their life. Now you can tell what I’m saying. I don’t need, I think, to elaborate it. I’m just saying use those voices and say it. Say it like it needs to be said. And you’ll just. You’ll help yourself and you’ll help people you just really will.

John Maxwell:
If you’re ready to stop drifting and start growing, the Maxwell growth plan is your next step. This year-long journey guides you through four powerful Seasons of growth. From building self awareness to clarifying your purpose to strengthening your leadership. Each season includes reflection prompts, action steps, plus live teaching and Q and A calls with John C. Maxwell. It’s personal development with a plan. Start your journey today by visiting MaxwellPodcast.com/Growth Plan. That’s MaxwellPodcast.com/GrowthPlan.

Mark Cole:
Hey, welcome back, everyone. I. I truly wish you were in the studio with us, Chris. Every time you come up here and you fly up here, this guy, I love this guy flies up here, he’ll be back on a plane to be with his family in just a little bit. And I love that you come in and I truly, I wish all of our podcast family could just jump in here with us.

Chris Robinson:
They can. They can’t. It’s a choice.

Mark Cole:
They can. It’s a choice. I don’t know where we would put thousands and thousands of podcast listeners, but here’s what I love about you. You can figure it out. He will figure it out. Hey, welcome back, everyone. I. I really do want to challenge us.

Mark Cole:
We’re going to take two weeks here. We’re going to take two episodes because I believe this is so important. And we’re going to challenge ourselves to ask the question, what are we focusing on? Because it is expanding, it is changing. It’s kind of like when you get a blue car. Guess what? All of a sudden, everybody got a blue car. Where were all these blue cars yesterday when I was driving a brown car? No, it’s a blue car. Because what you’re focusing on is expanding. And it’s true in our leadership, it’s true in our life, it’s true in our families, what you focus on expands.

Mark Cole:
And so over the next two episodes, we will spend a lot of time talking about the focus as it relates to the people around you. Next week, we’ll take a little bit of time and talk about something that you do, but most of it is how you interact with people. And so I’m really excited about it. I’m super intrigued today to talk a little bit more about spending time with the right people and saying what you need to say, what John just taught us. But, Chris, it’s good to have you in the studio.

Chris Robinson:
Yeah. Always glad to be here with you and excited to talk about this topic. You know, spending time with the right people is what he really starts out with. And, you know, for me, that’s been a tremendous part of my life when I began to become very intentional about being around the right people and staying away from the wrong People, life began to shift. Now, in the 15 laws of growth, there’s a quote by Dr. David McClellan that says this 95% of your success or failure is based upon who you habitually spend your time with. Now, initially, when I read that, because I go 95%, that’s a really high number. But then I thought about it.

Chris Robinson:
If I thought about the very best times in my life, I can see faces. I thought about the very worst times in my life, I can see faces. I said, oh, my, this just might be onto something. But being around the right people is incred topic to start with. Talk to me about how being around the right people has made a major impact on your life.

Mark Cole:
Yeah, it’s funny because so. So many directions that I want to go with this. Partly because I’m coming off of the last two weeks as we’re recording this podcast. I’m coming off of two incredible weeks around of being around incredible people. We were in Puerto Rico recently, and number one, John and I saw some of the greatest responses to join us from a financial standpoint and from a participation standpoint in our nonprofit work. And I’m convinced it’s because the response was better, because the people we’re surrounding ourselves with is better. And so we saw every stat. Every stat from any event we’ve ever had.

Mark Cole:
For me, over the last 25 years, for John, over the last 50 years, every stat was beaten in Puerto Rico. I can give you. I can give you every stat. Won’t bore you with the details of that today, but we might do that. Then a couple of weeks ago now, we went, and it sounds fun, but the point of it is the relationships. We went and had a day of golf with some really key, critical people that we’re spending time with. Now. The quality of people in that environment is blowing John and I away.

Mark Cole:
In fact, we left that environment late that night after we went and went. Did you ever think that you would be in a room like that with so much potential, so much opportunity, and now so much mutual commitment? And John said, never. And I went for John, the big thinker, not to think that, what is it? And the reason is because we’re surrounding ourselves very intentionally with a different level of thinking people, and it’s bringing a different level of commitment, and it’s raising our thinking of what could be possible. That’s why we’re beating every stat, is because we’re raising the people we’re surrounding ourselves with with people that believes you can beat that stat. Then you start beating the stat so, Chris, first I would say, I mean, I really want to go down to the science of surrounding yourself with the right people. I don’t think we’ll do that in today’s setting because we’re really talking about what you’re focusing on, and I’m focusing on the concept of who are the right people. As I read these six traits and listened to John teach them, what I can tell you is for 30 years of my life, I surrounded myself with people that did not see my potential. They saw my rights and wrongs.

Mark Cole:
They saw the things that I was doing incorrectly and would bring light to them. I joined John Maxwell’s team 25 years ago. So I’ve almost been here half of my life. And I can tell you, from day one, when I walked in, all they wanted to talk about was my potential. All they wanted to talk about was what they saw could happen within me, not what they saw that would hold me back. What they saw that could lift me forward. And the dynamic that changed that day. Absolutely.

Mark Cole:
Show has shown me that the last 25 years has been all about the people I spend time with that has cultivated the potential that is within me.

Chris Robinson:
Yeah, I love that. I love that. Now, he gave characteristics. He gave six characteristics. You know, one, they show unconditional love. Two, they add value to my life. They continually grow. They enjoy the journey.

Chris Robinson:
They enjoy life. They refuel. But I have to be honest with you, when I heard the very first one, the very first one was that they show unconditional love, I paused and I actually, when I was listening to in the car on the way here, I paused it and I said. And I thought, man, do very many people actually experience unconditional love? So the question I have for you on this one is, have you experienced unconditional love? And how did you know that you have experienced it?

Mark Cole:
Yeah, I love this question. And again, I almost want to pause even the recording of this and just have this conversation at a very deep one on one level, because I think. I think that’s how deep this concept of unconditional love is. I spent time. I’ve been surrounded by people that loved me all of my life. But I got to tell you, 99% of the relationships in one’s life is conditional. You’ve got to earn it. You’ve got to work at it.

Mark Cole:
You can lose it. See, unconditional love. You can’t lose it. Unconditional love is. Is without a string. And most of us, even in our marriages, even in our closest relationships, we have conditions. If you will continue acting this way right here. I will continue loving you.

Mark Cole:
But if you do act X, that would be the straw that broke the camel’s back. I believe most people forgive me podcast family, because I think I now have experienced it to your question, and I’m going to talk about that in just a little bit. But most of my concern is most of life we go through. Most people go through their entire life with only conditional love. And it works well, but the conditions are right and the love is great and it’s wonderful, but we all are constantly looking over our back. Did I, I just create the unforgivable sin? Did I just create an unforgivable act? Because we’re dealing with conditional love. I was telling a friend actually this morning upon recording of how sweet unconditional love is. And really, the only way you know you have unconditional love is when you do something that the conditions are right for love to stop.

Mark Cole:
And love doesn’t stop. Now, we call that forgiveness. And we go, hey, you need to forgive me so that you can continue loving me. But I’m talking about a style of love that no forgiveness is needed. You’re okay. I’ve got a very, very dear friend, very personal, called me in the last few weeks and said, I just made a decision that is going to mark me as unlovable by all the people that’s close to me weeping. The friend was weeping and said, I just need to know if you’re going to be one of the ones that puts that condition on me as well. And they did something that all the people in their life, all, not almost all, all was surprised.

Mark Cole:
And he gave me the opportunity to ask him the question. And this is going to take because I believe really the only place there is unconditional love has to be sourced from a heavenly father. I don’t know where else. Sorry. For those of you that don’t have that context, perhaps that’s the reason most people won’t experience it. It can only be sourced from something much greater than us in our humanity. And he said to me in this question, he said, hey, do you think I’ve created the unpardonable in God’s eyes? And I said, can I ask you a question before I answer yours? Do you think God is surprised with your decisions this morning? And he went, no. I said, do you think God knew this day was going to come when he offered unconditional love to you in the form of salvation many years ago? He’s a believer.

Mark Cole:
And he said, yes, I do. Believe that God knew that day was coming. And no, I don’t believe God’s surprise. I said, and yet he still offered his love to you. And the love’s not changed. In fact, it’s now time to activate the love where I learned this. Back to your question, Chris. Where I learned this really was not from religion.

Mark Cole:
I didn’t learn it from religion. Religion didn’t offer me unconditional love. If yours did, kudos. Way to go. My religion did not offer me unconditional love. John Maxwell. In this environment that I’m in, Chris, is what’s offered me unconditional love. I can truly tell you that I have done stuff in my leadership that any other leader would have cut me off and said, man, that you can’t, you can’t keep leading.

Mark Cole:
And yet John has extended an unbelievable amount of unconditional love. And again, the only way I know to really define unconditional love is when all the conditions lend itself to punishment, to termination, to exclusion, dropping away, and all the conditions are right, it doesn’t happen. And so, you know, we here in Atlanta, Georgia’s where we are today, recording this podcast. We get a lot of tornadoes and there’s a tornado watch and there’s a tornado warning. A watch says all the conditions are favorable, but a tornado has not been cited. So when you get a tornado warning, for all of my friends in Oklahoma, Kansas, you, you could speak to this a lot more than me, okay? But when you get this statement on your phone now, because they’re doing a great job, there is a tornado warning, in other words, it’s been cited, the conditions are there and baby, it’s going to hit somewhere. I have found in those moments to when I am in the path that they say and I still don’t get it. There is a relief that says, man, there was one sided, man, it hit my neighborhood over there and I didn’t get it.

Mark Cole:
Even though I was in the path and I should have got it, to me, that’s the best weather articulation of unconditional love. All the conditions were right, everything should have happened. But somehow I got skipped over from what should have happened because love protected it.

Chris Robinson:
Wow, I love that. I love that. What a great value. What a great value, man. We could camp out on that. Yeah, all day long. All day long. We gotta keep it moving though.

Chris Robinson:
We gotta keep it moving now. You know the second phrase he says is that say what you need to say. You know, talk to me about a time when you didn’t say what you Needed to say.

Mark Cole:
I often don’t say what. So let me talk about often, specifically, generally, and then let me come back specifically. Often I don’t say what needs to be said because of two leadership quotes that impact me. One is leadership is about disappointing people at the pace they can stand. So often I won’t say something as a leader because I don’t want to negatively impact somebody’s beliefs, somebody’s sense of value, somebody’s sense of contribution. And I get really careful not to say what I’m thinking to, quote, protect them and their leadership self. I’m not saying that’s good or bad. That’s just reality.

Mark Cole:
So there’s often that I have seen something in someone in their leadership or something that I won’t say anything. And I couch it under. Yeah, they can’t handle it right now or it’s not best. And I think I’ve been right sometimes I think I’ve been wrong just as many times that they needed it, they should have heard it, and because I didn’t give it, they missed the opportunity to improve it. And I think I have a responsibility to that. I have couched it for a very good reason, but I’m not sure that I led. Well, there’s been other times, so that’s one reason I’m couching. The second thing is another leadership quote that we use all the time.

Mark Cole:
Leaders see more and before. So I go, yeah, it’s my responsibility to see it, but it’s not my responsibility to share it. Why? Because I don’t believe their leadership capacity can handle it. That’s true sometimes, but I don’t think it’s true every time.

John Maxwell:
Right.

Mark Cole:
So in this saying what you need to say, I think leaders need to trust the capacity and the opportunity in the people they lead and quit excusing themselves from saying the things that need to be said. And too often leaders excuse themselves from saying what needs to be said by giving them a pass of caring for people when really they’re not caring for them at all. They’re actually contributing to their lack of effectiveness because they just don’t want to have the hard conversation.

Chris Robinson:
Yeah. And not saying anything, oftentimes it leaves a person continuing to go in that direction and they’re completely unaware. Which John talks about next, which is the blind spots. So on this one, talk to me about a blind spot that someone told you about that helped you.

Mark Cole:
So yesterday, again, yesterday, in the area of recording the studio, I had one of our leaders. In fact, I’ll give you his name, because his department kind of oversees the podcast. Jared Cagle was with me on a travel appointment that I had yesterday, and he heard me coach one of our teams. We’re getting ready to do a hire in our nonprofit. And so we were working through some of the. The extenuating circumstances in this, and he heard me coaching our team on the people that were going to experience this hire that was not in the meeting. So in other words, a second layer, an extended layer, an extended circumference from the decision. They were further out from the decision, and they were concerned at how the decision was going to be felt throughout the rest of the organization.

Mark Cole:
And so I was working with them. Jared heard one side of the conversation. He said, hey, Mark, got to ask you a question.

John Maxwell:
What?

Mark Cole:
And why did you do and say that? Because it sounded like on my one side of the conversation that you were dealing with a problem, as if it was a problem and they didn’t know the problem. I began to tell him why I was doing and sharing that was based on feedback that he couldn’t hear. Then he played the scenario on out and said, yeah, but what if it would have been the scenario that I thought it was? And he said, so, for instance, you’re such a convincing leader, Mark, when you lead, but yet you at the same time say that you won’t push back. How do we know how to give you pushback when you’re so convincing? Because you could win debate classes. Well, by the way, I did win debate classes in high school, and I loved every minute of it. And I said, jared, this is such a good question, and I think it’ll lend itself to this podcast discussion, Chris, that you and I are having. I think great functioning, highly functioning, great relating, highly relatable teams need to have the conversation before the conversation. You’ve heard John say that we have the meeting before the meeting.

Mark Cole:
Well, we have the upfront expectations, upfront conversations. All those are teachable points in our podcast. You can go back to podcast and hear those. And the idea of upfront expectations and upfront conversations, I think it’s very important for leaders to do what Jared and I did yesterday. He said, mark, if that would have been a problem, there was perceived problems inside the organization, or would that have changed your mind to the decision? I said, well, I’d like to think that it would. He said, well, I’d like for you to entertain the fact that it probably wouldn’t, because I’ve worked around you for a long time, and what happens sometimes in debate is you’re not Interested in the best idea, you’re interested in the debate so you can convince me to.

Chris Robinson:
Your way of thinking, right?

Mark Cole:
Everybody but Jake’s in here laughing, Chris is in here laughing. Jerry’s the only one not in here laughing because he took that, he took the blow yesterday of bringing that blind spot to me. Speaking of blind spots. And he said, mark, sometimes you say you really want to be challenged, but when you challenge, you really just want to win the debate, right? And I went, oh my God, he is 100% right. I said, jared, let me tell you this right here. I said, when you’re coming to me and you want to challenge me, I want you to do one of two questions. I want you to ask yourself a question with one or two answers. Am I trying to enlighten Mark to a better idea or am I trying to change Mark? Because I think that he’s wrong.

Mark Cole:
And I’m going to tell you this, I want you to be able to lead with me effectively both ways. I just want you to know which way you’re coming from. And once you determine as a leader on a team that’s wanting to convince another leader, one is flatten the playing field. And don’t look at things from a positional standpoint, that doesn’t do anybody any favors. But do figure out if you’re trying to come with a better idea that I’m missing it with my current close mindedness. And in that case, Jared, I want to be arrested. I want you to stand on the table. I want you to shake me because I love debates.

Mark Cole:
And so you’re awakening me to defend my position because you think there’s a better position and I want you to be conflicting with me. Iron sharpens iron. I want you to go, but if you’re really, your motive is to get me more information in case there’s a better idea. In other words, you don’t think my idea is wrong. You just don’t think I have all the information. I want you to ask me a question. Hey, Mark, have you considered what it could look like if we did this? And I said, when you’re giving me information and you ask me a question, it slows me down. If you’re challenging me because you think I may not be right, it arrests me when you come with a very straightforward, I think you’re wrong on this.

Mark Cole:
And he went, that is brilliant. And he said, I think he wasn’t saying that was brilliant and I brought brilliance. It was brilliant because it was enlightening, not because it was intelligent. It was enlightening. And he said, mark, that’s brilliant to me because in all the years I’ve worked with you, I’ve seen the times to where I felt like that you needed to do something different and I didn’t handle you like you just said. And then there were times where I didn’t think you were considering all the things and you shut it down before you could ever consider. Because I didn’t ask it as a question, I made it as a recommendation. Now, here’s my point.

Mark Cole:
I’m not saying my way’s right or wrong. I’m saying that is my way. And you’re laughing because you’re sitting there going, yes, that’s exactly what I look at these scenarios.

Chris Robinson:
I just went through these scenarios.

Mark Cole:
And so the beauty of it going back to say what needs to be said. What Jared and I discovered yesterday, that was brilliance again, not intelligence. It was brilliance in that it was enlightening was that we discovered a better way to work with one another yesterday in actually living out saying what needs to be said. Every leader listening to me today needs to do what Chris Robinson and I did, which was prompted by what Jared Cagle said to me yesterday. And that is you need to be having a conversation that allows you to know how to best say what needs to be said rather than excusing it, like I was talking about at the beginning. I can’t disappoint them right now. They’re not. They don’t have the capacity for disappointment or it’s my job to see more than before.

Mark Cole:
I’m just going to keep that pious position. I don’t think it’s effective.

Chris Robinson:
Yeah. And on top of it, too, though, this could be taken out of context not to say what needs to be said, because I think about from my leadership styles, like, you know, if it’s needs to be said, I’m going to say it and I don’t care about the consequences of it. And it’s like, I’ll leave it sitting there. And because of that statement right there, say what you need to be said. Well, I said what need to be said. And then yet there’s. There’s shrapnel everywhere.

Mark Cole:
Yes, exactly. Exactly. Right.

Chris Robinson:
And so it is, you know, having that meeting before the meeting, checking the approach and looking for, hey, what is the outcome? Is there a better way to get the outcome? Because we can also look at our own personality type and go, okay, this is the way I am and I’ve got to do it this way. But yet we not get the outcome that we want, even though we feel like we’re doing it the right way. And so I love this. What a great day to day, man.

Mark Cole:
Yeah.

Chris Robinson:
Thank you so much.

Mark Cole:
That was enlightening. Mandy, let’s go. Let’s go lead something together because we’re better for it, right?

Chris Robinson:
I love it.

Mark Cole:
Hey, I do want to always, every time that we come in here, I want to give you something to do. I want to give you something to be impacted. You know, Zig Ziglar says when you focus on problems, you get more problems. When you focus on possibilities, you have more opportunities. And I think Zig was right. What I want to do today is I want to encourage you. I want to give you something that will make you better, that will encourage you, that will lift you. And so today we have a product promotion called Every Day With Purpose.

Mark Cole:
And in this Every Day with purpose, it’s normally $199. I want to give it to you today for $49. But here’s what I want you to do. I want you to establish your purpose, because that will begin to encourage expanding what your purpose is. That’s why we’re offering this product, and I know that it will help you. There’s a listener that, a podcast viewer, listener that gave us a great compliment. I’m so thankful for what you said, Solomon. Solomon listened to the podcast, the foundation of a Leader.

Mark Cole:
We’ll put that in the show notes. It will help you. I’m confident. But here’s what Solomon said. He said, my calling is more clear than ever before from when I first started listening to the Maxwell podcast. It’s life changing. It’s daily adding value to me. And thank you for making me better.

Mark Cole:
And Solomon, I got to tell you, that is why we do what we do. But, Solomon, here’s why. You’re my favorite podcast listener today. This is it. You asked us a question, and I’m going to take just a few minutes to stop just a little bit early on the content. And I wanted to get into this question Solomon that you asked. Solomon asked, how can a leader have a comeback from mistakes? How does a leader have a comeback from mistakes? And so, Chris, I want you to answer that question. I’ll come back maybe with a little commentary on it.

Mark Cole:
But Solomon’s asking the question, how can a leader come back from a mistake?

Chris Robinson:
Yeah, that’s a great question, Solomon. And so it depends on the size of the mistake. Okay, I’ll start with that. You know, the longer, the bigger the mistake is, the longer it’s going to take, to come back from it. But you can come back from mistake. You know, the first thing I would say to you is, go back to what we just end up talking about and say what you need to say. Number one, I made a mistake, all right? Taking that accountability and really, you know, owning that mistake that you made. The number two, apologize.

Chris Robinson:
Like that is so difficult for people to do sometimes, is to apologize. And I can think about a specific scenario where you and I, we’ve had to. We’ve made a mistake. We’ve had to admit that we’ve made the mistake, but yet we apologize for the mistake, but then we have to do the next best thing. We have to do the next right thing. And so, over time, as you continue to make those good choices and show action towards that mistake that you are atoning for and that you’re trying to do better, you begin to mend that relationship over time.

Mark Cole:
Yeah, the operative word. I love that. That’s a great illustration. The operative word there, Solomon, is come back. Because I’ll tell you how you come back from mistakes. You stay in the game. I’ll tell you how you come back from mistakes. You admit that you’re wrong.

Mark Cole:
You fix it. I’ll tell you how you come back from mistakes. You learn something, pick it up, and then move to be to a better you. And so, Solomon, the fact that you’re asking the question I want to come back from the mistake is how you come back from the mistake. You got to have the mindset that was a failure. That was difficult, but it wasn’t final. That was something I can learn. Do better next time, but it doesn’t define me.

Mark Cole:
I’m a comeback kid. I’m not a failure. I’m not a mistake guy. I’m a comeback kid. Because if you’re not making mistakes, if you’re not challenging, I would challenge you. You’re not learning a whole lot if you’re not making mistakes. If you’re not creating challenges, I’d say you’re not trying a whole lot. The fact that you’re making mistakes is leadership.

Mark Cole:
The fact that you’re coming back is differentiating leadership because not all leaders will have a comeback mindset. So, Solomon, so proud of you. Thanks for the question. Hey, podcast family, ask us some more questions. We’ll get into answering these questions. We have an episode that we did with Craig Groeschel called Think Ahead, and we’re going to put that link into our show Notes. I promise you, you will love to hear that podcast, and it will help take advantage of Every Day with purpose. We’ve got that as a discount.

Mark Cole:
Don’t let this podcast just add value to you. Let it challenge you to go make a difference in others, and this product will do that. Every Day with purpose needs to be lived by you, because everyone deserves to be led well.