Write Your Own Story

Mark Cole:
Welcome to the Maxwell Leadership Podcast. I want to start today’s podcast the same way we started a recent book that I helped. I got to help John Maxwell write. Actually, I was on the writing team. The book’s called Change youe World. And in that book, John starts it with this. Every one of us has a Change the World Series speech inside of us. Every one of us have a Change the World story inside of us.

Mark Cole:
Today, I want in this podcast for us to uncover your story. In fact, today we’re going to talk about write your story. And I’m so excited because John’s going to talk to us about 2 of the driving principles that have made his life as effective and as impacting as it has become. Today. We want that same thing for you. And so today I’m going to share that with you. In fact, if you would like to download the bonus resource that will help you and guide you as John is speaking today, you can go to MaxwellPodcast.com/WriteYourStory and also if you would like to watch us on YouTube, you can go to that same link, MaxwellPodcast.com/WriteYourStory and you will be able to get the link for, for YouTube.

Mark Cole:
There. Now grab a pen and paper, maybe grab an empty book, a diary, because today is all about you crafting the story of your life. I’ll come back after John is done teaching, and we will challenge you to begin writing the epic story of your impact. Here is John Maxwell.

John Maxwell:

1975. Eileen Beaver’s my assistant. I was pastoring my second church for Christmas, gave me a gift. I unwrapped it. It was a book. And on the outside of the book was the title, the Greatest Story Ever Told. Now, I love to read. And when I saw the title, I thought, oh, my gosh, this is going to be a phenomenal book.

John Maxwell:
The greatest story ever told. Are you kidding me? I wonder what it’s about and I wonder who’s in it. And so I opened up the book immediately. And much to my surprise, when I opened up the book, the pages were blank. And Eileen on the first page wrote these words. John, your life is before you. Fill these pages with kind acts, good thoughts, matters of your heart. Write a great story with your life.

John Maxwell:
Eileen did for me that day what I’m wanting to do for you. I’m wanting to encourage you, to challenge you to write your own story. You see, you have a story to tell. You have a story to write. But most people, they don’t write their own story. They just read it. Someone else Wrote it for them. So they, in a passive way, open up the book and they read about themselves.

John Maxwell:
But that day, Eileen said, don’t let anybody fill those pages in for you. Don’t let anybody write those words in for you. You take the pen in hand, you write the words of the pages, you write your own story. And I cannot tell you how that empowered me. I cannot tell you how that unleashed me. I cannot tell you what that did for me. In fact, that was before I ever wrote a book. In fact, it was two years before I wrote my first book.

John Maxwell:
And so I took those empty pages in, the greatest story ever told, and I started writing thoughts on them, and I started writing things I was thinking. And it kind of became a little bit of a journal for me. And when she said, write the story, you write your story. Don’t let someone else write it. You write your story. I knew what I wanted to say in my story. Chapter one. I wanna make a difference.

John Maxwell:
I knew that I wanted to make a difference. I’m young, I don’t have a lot to offer, but I just knew that I wanted to make my life better count. I really wanted to matter. I was in the fourth grade. I was going across the campus with my father. My father is a tremendous man, loves people. People migrate to him. He’s a terrific leader in his own right.

John Maxwell:
And I can remember we were going to go swimming that day. And so I kind of wanted to get across the campus quick. And it was only about 100 yards. It should take us, oh, my gosh, maybe a couple of minutes we’d get across there. But there were a lot of people out that day. And as we crossed, dad would stop and talk to people and ask how they were and call them by name, or they would stop him and they would engage in conversation. And as a fourth, you know, I’m a little fourth grader, I’m holding his hand, kind of trying to pull him, you know, let’s keep going, you know. They’re swimming on the other side, dad.

John Maxwell:
They’re swimming on the other side. About halfway through that campus, I quit pulling his hand and I just watched him, watched him touch people, watch him affirm people, watch him look him, Watched him look them in the eye and put belief in them. And I’m a fourth grade kid, and all of a sudden the swimming has gone away. And I’m watching the man that I love and admire so much, my own father, just engage and encourage and lift up people. And by the time we walked across that campus in the fourth Grade I said, I want to be like my dad. I want to make a difference. I want to make a difference. I want to make a difference in the lives of people.

John Maxwell:
Would you show me people that are making a difference? I’ll show you people that are not only fulfilled. I’ll show you people that are not have high morale. And you show me people that are making no difference at all. And I’ll show you people that are unfulfilled. And I’ll show you low morale. So when I started writing my story of significance, it started off with chapter one, I want to make a difference. But then I went to chapter two, I want to make a difference. Chapter two, doing something that makes a difference.

John Maxwell:
Okay, if I want to make my life count, if I really want my life to matter, okay, where do I start? How do I start? How can I really make a difference? What do I engage in? What do I do? And this is where it’s going to get real practical because I’ve worked through this, I’ve thought through this. And when people come to me and say, okay, John, I want to make a difference, how do I get started? Where do I go? What do I say? In the chapter on intentional living, I’ve got a whole chapter on Start small, believe big. But what I would say to you is very simple. If you really want to make a difference, here’s what I want you to do. I want you to ask yourself, what is my giftedness? What am I good at? What is my strength? What am I good at? What is my strength? And here’s what you do. You put your giftedness alongside the needs of people. Get the picture? The thing you do well, put it alongside the people and their greatest needs. For example, one of my giftednesses in communication and in my 20s, when I started wrestling with this significance area, I believed that if people could be successful, if they were good with relationships, if they were good at attitude, if they were good with training other people, equipping other people, if they’re good with leading.

John Maxwell:
And so I took my strength, the ability to speak and write, and I said, I’ll do my books, I’ll do my speeches, I’ll do my talks on relationships and equipping and attitude and leadership. In other words, I’ll take my strength, what I do well, I’ll communicate and I’ll take what people need. They need to know how to relate. They need to know how to have a good attitude. They need to know how to train and equip people. They need to know how to Lead people. So I took my strengths and put it my giftedness and put it with the needs of people. Or let me say it another way, put your passion alongside the needs of people.

John Maxwell:
What are you passionate about? My passion is to add value to people. That is who I am. That is who I have been. That is who I will always be. I will die adding value to people. And what are the needs of people? The needs of people are being valued. People want to be valued. So I take my.

John Maxwell:
My passion. I want to add value to you, and I put it up against a person’s need, a need to be valued.

Jerry Lopez:
John Maxwell often says, success is when I add value to myself. Significance is when I add value to others. If you’re ready to lead with both success and significance, you need to pick up a copy of Faithanomics by Jerry Lopez. This isn’t just another book on leadership or money. It’s a transformational guide to building a legacy rooted in faith, generosity, and purpose. Jerry’s story will inspire you. His principles will challenge you, and his example will call you to something higher. So if you’re looking for a roadmap to impact that goes beyond income, faith in nomics is for you.

Jerry Lopez:
Click the link in the show notes to get your copy today.

Mark Cole:
My friend Brene Brown says, when we deny the story, it defines us. When we own the story, we can write a brave new ending. I love Brene Brown. I love what she’s saying right here. You can. I don’t care what your story is as of today, whatever it is, I want you to know if you’re listening to this live, September 24, 2025 can be the ending of the bad story and the beginning of a story you’re proud of. It’s not too late to start writing the ending you want to your story. In fact, everyone has a unique story, every one of us.

Mark Cole:
And we have the power to shape that story into our life’s narrative. But here’s the concern. Don’t let someone else write your story for you. I want you to jump in. I want you to control the narrative, your story, because you have a story to tell. And I want it to be about you making a difference. Like John Maxwell talked about doing something that makes a difference. I want to talk to you today just a little bit of what I pulled out from John.

Mark Cole:
And I’m so glad it’s just you and I. I just want us to pull up. I don’t have 15 action points for you. I have about three homework assignments for you, though, so don’t cut it off because I’m going to give you a couple of things that made a radical difference in my life. I believe they will make a difference in your life as well. The first thing John challenges us with today is he says, you have a story to tell. You are writing the story or others are observing you and writing your story. I have an incredible privilege of every year I select five people from whatever the number is.

Mark Cole:
Some years are a ton and some years maybe not so many. But every year I pick five people that I’m going to mentor one on one. It’s kind of my chance to give back. And so I will vet them, I will send them three questions of what I want them to answer before I say yes. And then you guys know that I rely on my faith a lot. And so once I get all the people that respond back to my three questions, I get all these invitations, I send that back, homework assignments, give me answers to these three questions. I then take all the people that responded back and I make it a matter of prayer. I consult with my inner circle.

Mark Cole:
Who do you think I should be spending my time with this year and giving back the mentoring? I’ve been given so much mentoring. This is my give back to others. And one of the guys that I’m mentoring this year, we just went through this exercise right before this, this recording of this podcast, and I told this young guy he has the tiger by the tail. Truly, this young man graduated from a college, a university that shapes every one of our business thinking. You can figure that out. I won’t give you the exact but go up in Ivy League and that’s where he was. And he was an athlete there and got to play, was brilliant. Now he’s working in the finance industry and making it happen just as had a brand new baby.

Mark Cole:
They’ve started their family and he’s got a lot of life ahead of him. It’s just getting good. And he’s asked me this year. And so I felt like he’s become a very dear friend. And I felt like, you know, there may be something that I can add to your life of such great potential and already great accomplishment. And so I had him do something that I did 26 years ago. 26 years ago, I was challenged by a coach that said, mark, I want you to do two things over the next month until we have our next conversation. And I’m going to challenge you to do the same thing in this week.

Mark Cole:
I had 30 days. You only got seven. So I’m a drill sergeant. What I want you to do over the next seven days is I want you to write out what you want. Your most coveted loved ones. Maybe that’s a significant other. Maybe it’s a child, maybe it’s a mom, a dad. I want you to write out what you want them to say at your passing.

Mark Cole:
Now, that’s morbid. But I want to just take. What do you want written on your epitaph? What is it that you want said about you when you have lived your life to the fullest? And I don’t care if you’re 20, I don’t care if you’re 15. I don’t care if you’re 70. I want you to just take a moment and I want you over the next seven days, I want you to write out. Now, you’ve heard this exercise before, but in this idea that John has challenged us today to write our own story, I want you to do it again. I want you to grab an empty book like John was talking about, and I want you to write out the things you want said about you by the person that you love at the top of the list. Who is it? What is it? What do you want them to say? I had my friend that I’m mentoring, I had him do that.

Mark Cole:
I said, but here’s the next thing I want you to do. And this will be a lot more exciting than writing your epitaph. So it gets higher, guys, let me lift you up. I said, I want you to do this for me. And this was a game changer for me 25 plus years ago. My coach at the time said, mark, I want you to go out 30 years from now, and I want you to write a story, a recap of what you did all in one day 30 years from now. And I want you to feel as much as you possibly can in that day. And I want it to be a life in the day of Mark Cole, 30 years from now.

Mark Cole:
Guys, I got excited. I started writing about. I was going out on vacation with my family and my wife that I still had youthful teenage passion with. And I shared about my kids and my grandkids that were not even born yet. And I started talking about us going out to our second home in Colorado at the foothills of Vail and Beaver Creek. And my business associates were going to come out and spend the day with me. And we were going to work in the morning and we were going to ski all day, and then we were going to have this long conversational dinner to end the day. And I just built this out.

Mark Cole:
I May have even flown on my private plane out there. And by the way, I was driving a 1988 Toyota Tercel at the time, and I may have put some real big dreams out there of what I wanted in my in a life of Mark Cole 30 years from now. And then that coach began to break it down to me, all the components that I had fit into that day, and he began to read me like a storybook based on the story I wrote about myself 30 days later, 30 years later, I had this young man that’s truly. He’s got the life by the tail right now, and I’m mentoring him. And I said, hey, I want you for the next 30 days, I want you to go write out the story of your life 30 days from now, 30 years from now. We just debriefed this just this week. And as I began to debrief and I told him what I saw in his words, the emotion in his eyes, the leaning forward that I had, the moments of revelation that I began to tell him what I saw in his storybook 30 years from now and his disciplines, or lack thereof, in today’s story, in the way he’s writing it now. In fact, if I could challenge you to cut the podcast off now you’ve done it.

Mark Cole:
I’ve given you everything I’ve got. I would challenge you over the next seven days, maybe 30 days. Truly take time for those two exercises. John Maxwell says that success is when those that know you and love you the most think the most of you, love you the most. And I want to know what that person would say about you when your life is done, when your legend is started to be told, when your story is read by another, what do you want that to be? And then I want you to go live life to the fullest 30 years from now. And I want you to describe a day in your life 30 years from now. And as you write and do those two exercises, I promise you what John has shared with us today will become tangible in what you want and will become illuminating in what you’re doing to get it. Write your own story.

Mark Cole:
You are telling a story. Is it with intention or is it by accident? The second thing that John really shared today, I’m not going to take a long time on this, and I’ll tell you why in just a moment. But John, John said you need to discover your giftedness and align your giftedness with the needs of others. Now, if you’re a, if you are family, podcast listener, if you’re like drinking the Kool Aid you’re like every week give me a podcast. In fact, you love the bonus resource, the bonus episodes that we do on Friday with books. I mean, you’re just a Maxwell Leadership Podcast junkie. You’re going to know three weeks ago that I did a podcast on how to live life with purpose every day. It’s just three weeks ago.

Mark Cole:
And I want you to go back and I want you to listen to that podcast to really pull out the concept of giftedness, because we talked a good bit about giftedness in that podcast. I do want to say a couple of things though, this week that’s a little bit different than I said three weeks ago in that episode. And that is that inside of every one of us is a gifting that is unique to those around us. It’s our job, it’s our story to find it. It’s our uniqueness, it’s our sense of fulfillment that requires us to find it. John and I have the incredible privilege to take five companies, the senior leadership of those companies, every single year. We only take five. Our time does not allow us to do it.

Mark Cole:
It’s very expensive. John and I take them on a customized mentorship journey on how we do leadership for a year. We spend a day with them, getting to know them, hearing their questions, and then based on their questions, we create this content that is customized and specialized for that group. We’ve been working with the company. We did something that we don’t do a lot. We did a second year with this company and we did a second year because they were transitioning leaders. They were going from the founder to the founder’s designated next CEO. And in the course of this year, we began to see in this new leader the uniqueness of the next chapter in this company.

Mark Cole:
It’s a very successful company. I could give you the name and you would know the company. Many of you would. But they were in the middle of succession and we gave them our best. John delivers every time. John and I do a bunch of question and answer, not on just succession, but how to set leaders up, how to bring in the next generation. But what we realized about month 11 of this year long process is that there was some uniqueness that we needed to pull out in mentorship. See a there is a uniqueness, a passion.

Mark Cole:
And when new leadership steps into the room, even if it’s hand selected, even if it’s family, even if it’s highly intentional in how you roll it out, a new leader’s ability to bring out the best in people depends on the story. They’re writing about their leadership. And the story of that new leader’s leadership had not been written enough when we first started. And so we’re launching into year two. Why? Because every leader, new or existing, needs to assess your gifts, your talents, your passions. You need to look for opportunities to use those passions to serve others. And you need to continually find ways to add value by matching your ability to with people’s needs. Now, because I said those three things really fast, I’m going to say that last one because that’s the big one.

Mark Cole:
Continually find ways to add value by matching the leader’s ability with the people’s needs. Too oftentimes, in every leadership, but especially in succession, we find the abilities, what qualifies them, how are they going to take it to the next level? And we hire to those abilities. And then we try to rally people around the abilities of the new leader when the success of the outgoing leader is remarkably forgotten because of the abilities of the new leader. But great leaders in great transitions assess the gifts and talents, look for opportunities to serve others, and then find ways to match the unique ability of the leader with the people’s needs. John made a third point that I want to spend the rest of our time with. And that is people want to feel valued. People want to feel valued. It goes back to what I said at the top of our show today.

Mark Cole:
There is a change the world message inside of every one of us, every one of you. I don’t care how common you feel, I don’t care how mediocre and middle of the road you feel like that you grew up or the exposure that you’ve had, you have a change, the world around you, story within you. And part of that story needs to understand that your story matters. When you make other people matter in your story. If your story is to yourself and for yourself and by yourself and a self made person, then guess what? There’s not going to be many people attracted to your story. That’s because the people that intersect with your story, your life, they want to feel valued, they want to feel important. I want you to do something with me today. I want you to think about your life as a leader.

Mark Cole:
I’ve had you think about your life that you want to live. I’ve had you think about dying. I mean, I’m taking you through the scope today. But what I want to do in this last segment is I want to think about your leadership. Some of you that are listening, you are a leader. You have people that report to you. You have people that they absolutely can become much better if your story is told in a meaningful way. And so what I want you to do is I want you to be like my new friend Jerry.

Mark Cole:
I met Jerry about four months ago. Jerry really needed us or wanted us to do something with him in partnership. And I love Jerry’s story. I love what Jerry’s agenda was. I love what he’s passionate. And to be honest with you, it was a no brainer. I mean, me and Jerry are going to figure out something to do together. I was going to mobilize my team.

Mark Cole:
Jerry’s story is going to become a part of our story. His book is going to be something that Maxwell Leadership Publishing gets excited about. And I’m talking to Jerry and I’m just going, this is a no brainer. I’ve been talking to him and I just shared somebody else, a mutual friend, said, hey, Mark, if you could talk to Jerry tonight so we don’t mess up your birthday celebration tomorrow. Jerry, whom I have still yet to meet in person, meeting with him tomorrow, as a matter of fact, after recording this podcast, Jerry says, is your birthday tomorrow? And I went, yes, sir, it is. But hey, at this stage, what’s a birthday? I’m just glad to be alive. And we kind of laughed and he said, okay. He said, hey, what’s your Venmo? Now, Jake in the studio here is laughing because he knows my technology ability is much like John Maxwell’s.

Mark Cole:
And I go, venmo. He says, okay, just what’s your. How can I get used? How can I get access to your bank account? I said, jerry, we’re not that close of friends yet. He went on a fact finding mission and figured out a way, I still don’t know how he did it, to surprise me with a sizable birthday celebration. I’m talking sizable. In fact, I was thinking the other day, and in 56 years, I’ve gotten a lot of birthday presents. I don’t believe I’ve got a cash gift of this magnitude in my life. And I said, whoa, Jerry, you can’t buy partnership.

Mark Cole:
And he said, I’m not buying partnership. I just found somebody that I have learned to love and appreciate, is celebrating tomorrow, and I want to celebrate with you what Jerry did for me in that moment. And when I bring Jerry on the podcast one day, I’ll tell the rest of the story. But what I found out from a guy that is talking about a subject that most people use to accumulate wealth, money, that is, or accumulate power or accumulate possessions. Jerry uses it to make an impact to make a memory. It’s the story Jerry is writing. I said, jerry, you got to tell me, why did you do that? I got to know I’ve not ever had that kind of a gift. Just kind of put in my bank account, number one.

Mark Cole:
I didn’t know you could get access to my bank account. I think I’m concerned. I said, but, Jerry, I got to know what’s driving that. He said, I decided a long time ago that I wanted to make a remarkable impact on people so that when they tell my story to the next person, it’s with an act of gratitude. And how they described me, I went, jerry, I will be telling your story to thousands of people because I can tell this wasn’t to make sure we had a partnership. The partnership’s done. I can tell this is not a thank you. I can tell it’s not even intentional because, Jerry, you didn’t know it was my birthday.

Mark Cole:
And he said, oh, that’s where you’re wrong, Mark. It was intentional. I was looking for a way to make a memory moment for you so that my story could sound like I want it to sound. Now, I want to close today to you leaders, to you women and men that are out there leading teams. And I just want to ask you a question. How do you imagine your company five years from now? How do you imagine your leadership being described by the people on your team five years from now? They say that Harvard actually did a study that asked out of every leader, they asked to remember the person that had the most. The leader that had the most impact in their life. And they asked a follow up question to that.

Mark Cole:
And the follow up question was, was it a skill, a gift, a trade, a talent that they trained you in, or was it how they made you feel or how they made you feel valued? 90% said, it’s how they made me feel, it’s that they made me feel valued. Well, I’ll tell you, that day, Jerry did that for me. And I can tell you in this exercise that I’m giving you, your people are going to remember you five years from now because of how you made them feel, the value you added to them, the way that you made your story about them. That’s the story five years from now that is going to be worth repeating. So I’ve got you doing an epitaph, but after you come back to life, I want you to dream about 30 years from now and accomplishing as much as you can in a 24 hour period. And then finally for you leaders, I want you to imagine your company five years from now. What’s the story? How does people describe your leadership? How’s the culture? What do you want it to be? And begin looking this immediate episode on how to write that story so that when you get to five years and people are reading that story, they are absolutely describing it the way you intended it. Hey, today I’m joined with is a podcast listener that listened to the podcast what you focus on expands, Part one.

Mark Cole:
And Sam, thank you for the question. I love the questions that are coming in now. Thank you for that. In fact, we’re going to do an episode just that will be questions unplugged. In fact, I’m going to get John Maxwell to be live with us and we’re just going to take your questions out and we’re just going to have a podcast episode on questions asked of John and myself. But Sam, you’re getting us started. What you focus on expands. We’ll put that in the show notes.

Mark Cole:
For those of you that have not heard that podcast, here’s the question Sam asks. Is unconditional love sustainable in the corporate culture of an organization? And how is it practically applied by leaders? When you ask that question, and I’ve been asked a similar question before, I think you wrote it better, Sam. But I’m reminded of John being asked to write a book called Business Ethics. And John said, I can’t write a book on business ethics. And the publisher was concerned, why can’t you? It should be easy to write. And John said, I can’t write as book on business ethics because there’s no such thing as business ethics. There’s only ethics. And if you have ethics at home, they work at work.

Mark Cole:
And if you have ethics at work, they work at home. And if you have ethics, oh, happy day to the people that surround you. And I’ve got to tell you, Sam, I’m reminded of that. Because unconditional love should not is should be sustainable in a corporate culture, it should be practically applied by the leaders. And the way that I would tell you is how Chick Fil A does it. Chick Fil A interviews their operators with one underlying has to be answered question would I want my kid, my most important possession, my child, to work for this operator? And when they can all universally agree that no matter whether they have a young man or a young daughter as their child, they would want their child to work for that leader, they found an operator. You love unconditionally your employees, just like you love unconditionally your family. Unconditional love works at home.

Mark Cole:
It works at work. Unconditional love given at work is really sweet. Giving at home as well. Sam, thank you for the question. Thanks all of you for joining us today. We will see you next episode. Until then, lead well because everyone deserves to be led well.

Maxwell Leadership Certified Team:
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Transcript created by Castmagic.