Becoming More: You Can’t Get to “Better” Until You Get to “Different”

As you look around, it doesn’t take long for you to find people who are yearning for more – more meaning, more success, more peace, more joy – and for many, more money. One thing that I know for certain is for your life to become better, and for you to become more, you must enter through the gateway of different.

Different can be scary.  It’s uncommon, unfamiliar, and unusual. Yet, to become more, entering the realm of different is unavoidable.

Think about your life right now. If it were a book, how would your story read? Would it be an adventure? A romance novel? A business book? Each one of us is living a story and in nearly every narrative, there exists the characters of victim, villain, and hero. Some stories feature coaches and mentors. Which role are you playing? I know I’ve played all of them at different times in my life.

When we label ourselves as a victim in our life story, we believe we must have what others have in order to do what they do and then we will be like them. Our life is lived with the theory of HAVE–DO–BE.

When we play the villain, we think life is about doing. The more we do, the more we’ll have, and the more we have, the more successful we will be. Our theory of life is DO–HAVE–BE.

Both of these are backward to how life actually works. Frankly, to be the hero of our own life story, we must realize that living from the inside out makes life great. To be the hero, we must be the person who can do what needs to be done to have what we desire to have. The hero’s philosophy is BE–DO–HAVE.

In my book Becoming More, I share many models that can help you change from limiting thoughts, beliefs, and actions, to liberating ones. The main focus is on the liberating mindsets that each one of us can develop within ourselves.

The Becoming More Model takes you through a series of steps to go from limiting yourself with scarcity to liberating your world, stepping into abundance by allowing your thoughts, beliefs, values, emotions, mindset, energy, and other areas of your life to be in alignment, allowing you to become the best version of yourself.

1. BE.

Everything starts with who you are being. This isn’t about your job title, your past, or your resume. It’s about the thoughts you think, the beliefs you hold, and the way you show up in the world.

Your current results are a reflection of your current identity. If you want to lead, grow, or impact others at a higher level, you must start by upgrading your internal operating system.

Who do you choose to be today, regardless of your circumstances? That choice is the starting point for everything else.

2. DO.

Once you shift your identity, your behavior begins to follow. When you think and believe differently, you act differently.

Too many people focus on behavior change without identity change—and that’s why their progress doesn’t last. When you become the kind of person who naturally takes empowered action, discipline becomes a byproduct—not a struggle.

It’s not about forcing action. It’s about becoming someone who is aligned with the action.

3. HAVING.

When your being and doing are aligned, results begin to shift.

This part of the journey is where momentum builds. You begin to experience more peace, more purpose, more influence—not because you’re striving, but because you’re living in integrity with the best version of yourself. The “have” is simply a mirror of your internal growth.

Success, then, becomes less about effort and more about alignment.

4. GIVING.

The final stage is the most fulfilling. Once you’ve transformed who you are and what you’re experiencing, you’re called to give from that overflow. This could mean leading a team with deeper impact, showing up more powerfully for your family, mentoring others, or contributing to causes that matter.

The ultimate purpose of becoming more is to give more – not from lack or obligation, but from abundance. You were meant to grow, not just for yourself, but so others could rise through your example.

Are you ready to become everything you intend to be?

Throughout Becoming More, Dianna gently yet powerfully guides readers to look within. She weaves in personal stories, hard-earned wisdom, and deeply reflective questions that invite transformation—not just information.

Her voice is both coach and companion. She doesn’t preach from a pedestal—she walks alongside you with humility and conviction. She reminds us that growth is a daily decision, that mindset is a muscle, and that the future you want is only available on the other side of who you’re willing to become.

Whether you’re leading a company, a classroom, or just yourself, Becoming More offers a mirror to reflect where you are now, and a map to help you become who you were born to be. Order your copy here today to get growing!

You don’t have to do more to get to better. Yet you do have to become different.

The journey starts with one courageous question: Who am I willing to become?

About the author

Dianna Kokoszka, best-selling author of Becoming More – You Can’t Get to Better Until You Get to Different, is recognized as one of the top 25 coaches in America. As the former CEO of Keller Williams MAPS Coaching and Training, she turned a $1 million loss into more than $500 million in revenue, making it the largest and most profitable coaching company in the world.  As author and leader of the transformational BOLD program and Coaching Skills Camp, she helped the company become the top training company in the world for 5 years straight, allowing it to be inducted into the hall of fame for training. She has earned the honor of Entrepreneur of the Year as well as Business Woman of the Year. Becoming More was recently named the GOLD Winner for Book of the Year for Neurodivergent Entrepreneurs.