When I was ten years old, I tried out for a Little League football team in Liberty City, Miami.
Making the team mattered. Every boy in the neighborhood wanted to prove himself on that field, and I was no different. I showed up. I practiced hard. I wanted it.
But when the names were called, I didn’t hear mine.
I watched the other boys receive their uniforms and helmets while I stood there empty-handed. At ten years old, I didn’t have a word for what I was carrying home with me. Looking back, I do: discouragement.
Then my brother Keith said five words that stayed with me: “Let’s try again next year.”
It was simple, but it was all I needed. Just an invitation to believe that this disappointment didn’t have to be the end of the story.
The following season, at a different ballpark, Keith and I both made the team. But what I remember most clearly is what happened afterward. I found the boys who hadn’t made it.
I knew what they were carrying because I had carried it too. And I wanted them to know what my brother had helped me understand: It wasn’t over.
Decades later, I’ve learned that some of life’s hardest moments work the same way.
Some setbacks arrive suddenly: a diagnosis, a rejection, a loss, a phone call you never expected. Others come one by one until you realize moving forward feels much harder than it did before.
I’ve experienced both.
I’ve faced a fast-growing cancer, open-heart surgery, professional disappointments, and a devastating accident that shattered both of my legs. I’ve known seasons of leading publicly while struggling privately.
I’ve learned that discouragement does more than affect how you feel. It can change what you believe.
It can distort the way you see your circumstances. It can undermine your confidence. It can disconnect you from the strength and momentum you need to move forward.
And that means overcoming discouragement requires more than simply telling yourself to “stay positive.”
Over time, I’ve found myself returning to four movements that help turn discouragement into forward motion. Together, they form a simple framework: R.I.S.E.
1. Recognize the Reality
Every rise begins with honesty.
When something goes wrong, our instinct is often to move past it as quickly as possible. Leaders can be especially good at this. There are people depending on us and responsibilities that don’t disappear just because we’re discouraged.
So we keep going.
But there is a difference between continuing to lead and pretending nothing hurts.
You cannot rebuild what you refuse to acknowledge. Before you can move forward, you have to be willing to ask: Where am I, really?
Name the setback. Seeing it clearly gives you something solid to build from.
2. Be Informed by the Lesson
Once you have acknowledged what happened, resist the temptation to let it define what happens next.
Instead, get curious.
What can this experience teach me?
Every setback carries information. It may reveal something about your preparation, your expectations, your relationships, your priorities, or even yourself.
Now, not every disappointment has a neat and tidy explanation. But that doesn’t mean they can’t all teach us something valuable — and our frame of mind will help us see it or make us miss it.
John Maxwell has often taught that experience isn’t the best teacher; evaluated experience is.
Evaluation changes the questions we ask. Instead of only asking, Why did this happen to me? we begin asking, What do I know now that I didn’t know before? What needs to change because of what I’ve learned?
Pain alone does not automatically produce growth. Reflection can turn pain into wisdom.
3. Draw Strength From Within
Discouragement has a way of turning an event into an identity.
A failure becomes I am a failure. A rejection becomes I’m not valuable.
If we’re not careful, we start looking at ourselves and only seeing our disappointments.
That is why rebuilding after discouragement requires returning to something deeper than circumstances.
Your identity cannot depend entirely on anything that couldbe taken away from you — the last result you produced, the title beside your name, the approval of the people around you, whether your most recent plan succeeded.
For me, that means returning to my faith, my purpose, my values, and what I know to be true about who God created me to be.
External encouragement matters; I know firsthand what five encouraging words from another person can do. But lasting resilience also requires an internal anchor.
Your circumstances may tell you what happened, but they do not get to tell you who you are.
4. Execute the Right Next Step
Eventually, rising requires movement. But here’s the thing — it doesn’t have to be dramatic.
When you’ve been knocked down, the distance between where you are and where you want to be can feel overwhelming. Trying to conquer all of it at once often creates more paralysis.
So don’t start with the whole journey; just start with the next step.
Make the phone call. Have the conversation. Apply again. Rework the plan. Ask for help. Return to the habit you abandoned. Make one decision that moves you in the direction you know you need to go.
Small actions matter because movement creates confidence, and confidence makes further movement possible.
You don’t need certainty before you act. In fact, certainty often comes after you begin moving.
The goal isn’t instant transformation; it’s momentum—built through small, intentional, consistent action.
Rising Is a Rhythm
I used to think resilience was mostly about surviving the big moments.
Life has taught me otherwise.
Resilience is not one heroic comeback after which you never struggle again. Life is a rhythm of rising, stumbling, learning, adjusting, and rising again.
That ten-year-old boy who didn’t make the football team had no idea how many more disappointments were ahead of him. He couldn’t have imagined hospital rooms, surgeries, career setbacks, broken expectations, or an accident that would leave him wondering whether he would walk again.
But he learned something that day that I’m still learning now:
A setback does not have to have the final word.
When discouragement comes, recognize what is real. Be informed by what the experience can teach you. Draw strength from the identity and purpose beneath your circumstances. Then execute the next right step.
You may not be able to change what knocked you down, but you can decide what you do from there.
Looking for practical ways to rise past life’s hurdles?
RISE: A Framework to Overcome Discouragement At Its Roots to Comeback With Purpose is a framework for rebuilding what life tries to break down. It helps leaders confront reality, learn from adversity, draw strength from within, and take the next right step forward. It restores confidence. It clarifies purpose. It reignites momentum. And it empowers leaders to rise—not just for themselves, but for the people they are called to lead. RISE is more than a book—it’s a blueprint for leaders committed to transformation. It is my offering to a world that needs courageous, compassionate, and purpose-driven leadership. And it is my tribute to the Maxwell Leadership team, whose work continues to shape leaders across the globe. Click here to get your copy today.
About the author
Kelvin Henry is an encourager at heart. He is also a seasoned Senior Manager with extensive leadership and coaching experience across Fortune 25 companies (Procter & Gamble, PepsiCo, Nabisco), the U.S. Air Force, the ministry, and nonprofit board governance. His background and experiences offer a unique perspective and deep insights into the challenges and opportunities of modern leadership.
