A Leadership Attitude Adjustment

Mark Cole:

Hey. Welcome to the Maxwell Leadership Podcast. This is the podcast that adds value to leaders who multiply value to others. My name is Mark Cole, and today my friend, your friend John Maxwell is going to share four thoughts on how leaders need to adjust their attitude. Now just hold right there, because after 23 years of traveling with John, in fact, the last 13 years traveling the entire globe with John, over 70 countries watching him have to handle leadership issues. Then five minutes later, standing on stage, speaking to 10,000 people coming off of stage and celebrating some of the greatest accomplishments, going from that wide range of emotion, I’ve watched John Maxwell, or should I say, I’ve watched Mr. Attitude prove over and over again his ability to have a leadership attitude. So as you listen today, I want you to really lean in because John’s not teaching you theory, he’s teaching you application. Now, after John’s lesson, Tracy Morrell will join me to talk about some helpful ways you and I can apply this lesson to our life, to our leadership. If you’d like to watch this episode on YouTube, please go to MaxwellPodcast.com/YouTube. If you’d like to download the free worksheet that accompanies John’s lesson, visit forward slash Attitude adjustment and click the bonus resource button. Now, that’s all for now. And here is Mr. Attitude, Mr. Great attitude. John Maxwell.

John Maxwell:

Yogi Bear once know he’s got a lot of quotes. Before I give you Yogi Bear’s quote, have you ever wondered how many of those quotes are really Yogi Bears? I mean, I have. I mean, it’s kind of like Abraham Lincoln said, you know what I mean? George Washington slept here. I mean, George Washington didn’t sleep all the places he was supposed to sleep. The boy didn’t have that long of a life, you know what I mean? And I don’t think Yogi Bear probably said all the things, but he gets credit for him. And Yogi Bear said or supposedly said life is like baseball. It’s 95% mental and the other half is physical. Well, I would agree with Yogi on the first part. It’s 95% attitude, it’s 95% mental. So let’s talk about it ability. Let’s talk about ability. That is what you are capable of doing. When somebody says, well, they have this ability, that means that’s what they are capable of doing. When we talk about motivation, that determines what you do and why you do it. But when we talk about attitude, lou Holtz said, that determines how well you do it. So let me give you today, let me give you four attitude statements that I just want to make that will kind of help us get a handle on the fact that if our attitude isn’t right, we’re in trouble. The first attitude statement is that your attitude is a choice. It’s a choice. And I think we understand that in the room. You heard the story about the guy went to the fortune teller, and fortune teller was talking to him and said, you’re going to be miserable and poor until you’re 30. Guy said, Whoa, that’s terrible. What am I going to after 30, what’s going to happen to me? He said, well, then you’ll get used to it. I know a lot of people who have gotten used to a bad attitude. You know what? They’ve lived poor all their life in their mind. And you and I both know that if you live poor in your mind, you’re going to live poor. And what amazes me is the amount of adults that don’t understand that the attitude that they have is a choice. Because they’ll talk about it and they’ll say, oh, man, I just wish that I didn’t think this way. Well, don’t. Or they’ll grumble and complain. They’ll say, Well, I got out on the wrong side of the bed. We’ve all heard that. I mean, if it was as simple as that, I’d send them home. I’d tell them to go to their bedroom, jump in that bed, and roll out on the right side. I mean, if it really is the side of the bed you got out on and determined your attitude, well, it’d be simple enough. Just send them home and go to bed again, roll out on the other side. See if it helps. It’s not going to help. The reason this is going to help is the wrong side of the bed has nothing to do with the attitude you got. You are the only person responsible for your attitude. I’m the only person responsible for my attitude. If I have a bad attitude, it’s because John’s not making the right choices. Now, all I’m saying is that the attitude is a choice. And Viktor Frankl was right when he said, the last of our human freedoms is to choose our attitude in any given circumstances. Now, here’s a question. Does your attitude determine the situation or does the situation determine the attitude? Well, that’s a great question. Well, it determines. It depends on whether you lead or follow. If you lead, then your attitude is going to determine most of the time the situation. If you follow, the situation will determine your attitude. That’s why John Wooden said one times, things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out. I was reading David Brinkley’s book a couple of months ago, and David Brinkley had a great statement. He said, A successful person takes the bricks thrown at them and makes a foundation for themselves. Booker T. Washington said, it’s not the level of success that you’ve achieved, it’s what you had to go through to achieve it. And the happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. That’s why the Apostle Paul said, I have learned in whatsoever state I am therewith to be content. You see, people go at the Apostle Paul and say, well, you just happen to have a good nature. No, Paul said I had to learn this. I had to work through this for myself. So the first attitude statement is that your attitude’s a choice. Second attitude statement is that whatever our attitude is, your attitude, my attitude, your attitude determines your actions. So my attitude will determine the actions that I whatever I take in life. Which basically I love this statement. You are not what you think you are, but what you think you are. Number three, our people are like mirrors, and they reflect our attitudes in life, how true that is. And number four, maintaining the right attitude is easier than regaining the right attitude. And I believe that. I think it’s easier to maintain a right attitude than it is to regain one. So don’t let it slip. And don’t we all need attitude adjustments? How do you know you need an attitude adjustment? I know. Margaret tells me. She really does. She said, john mr. Winning attitude. Boy you. It stinks there. I know what I mean. Cut it out. But we all let it slip. The good thing about our attitude is a choice. Bad thing about our attitude is that it can get out of whack very easy, and we have to have ways to know it. I wrote several years ago, probably most of you let me just take a while. How many of you have read my book The Winning Attitude? Oh, many of you. Probably about half of you have. Well, this was the first book that I wrote that I felt really had life changing potential. I can still remember how I felt when I finished it. I can still remember sitting in my home the afternoon I finished this book with a great sense of satisfaction because I said, this can help change lives. And the reason that I believe that very much is because what I determined to do in this book was not only talk about the importance of an attitude, but I determined to help a person know how to change if they have a bad attitude into a good attitude. Because of all the attitude books I’d ever read, one thing I always noticed is they’d tell you how important it was. They’d tell you how damaged it was if you had a bad one, how wonderful it was if you had a good one, but no one ever told you how to get a good one. But it’s a wonderful, wonderful, whole way for you to work on if you have an attitude issue, or more than likely if you have kids that have an attitude issue. It’s just a wonderful, wonderful way to help a person. One of the things I love about speaking and I say this in wrapping it up today one of the things I love about communicating and helping people is this a long time ago, I learned the things that will make a difference, you have control over. Did you hear me? The things that will make a difference, you have control over. Now, there’s a lot of things you and I don’t have control over, but can I tell you something? Those don’t make a difference. Don’t worry about what Joe’s doing out there today. Worry about yourself. And the moment that I understand this principle, then what’s that do? Doesn’t that just give you a great hunger to grow and develop? Now, here’s what else I’ve learned. Not only have I learned that the things that are going to make a difference, I can control. The things that will make a difference. I can grow and learn in almost everything in life that’s going to be valuable to you. If you don’t have it today, you can get it. Now, you may have to pay a price for it, you may have to work hard for it, but you can get it. That’s why people can have poor backgrounds and make it to the top. That’s why we can be on the wrong side of the tracks and end up at the right destination. Because most of the things in life that really matter is a choice that you and I really get to make.

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Mark Cole:

Hey, welcome back, everybody. I wish we were in all in a room today. Lately I’ve been recording some live podcast, and when we record these live podcasts, I love the human interaction. Because if we were all sitting together today in podcast land and we were all sitting together, I would have you look at the person to your right, the person to your left, and I’d say, hey, you need an attitude adjustment now, Tracy. You’re the only one I can do that to. Of course, I can do that to Jake and Ryan here in the studio with me. But let me just look at you, Tracy, and say, you need an attitude adjustment. I’ve been wanting to say that for years, Traci. And John finally gave me permission today because he said, don’t we all need an attitude adjustment now, Traci? You really don’t. This is going to be a fun lesson with you, but I’ve got to tell all of our podcast listeners today is the day you need to go to YouTube and watch this podcast. And let me tell you why. I’ve traveled the world with Tracy Morrow, with our teams. We’ve met with presidents together. We’ve done incredible things. And I can tell you, she finally got a manicure worth demonstrating. Now, Tracy’s always fit to the nines. But Tracy, your nails, I just have to say this. And podcast listeners, you’re going to have to go to podcast Viewer World because your nails today, you have nailed it.

Traci Morrow:

They came, didn’t they?

Mark Cole:

They do. Speaking of attitude and mean, Tracy’s nails are fabulous. And I know some of you guys are about to wreck you’re going mark has traded in his man card here. But I’m just going to please, I just apologize. Tracy, your nails are fine. But you know what’s? Better than your nails is truly your attitude. And I’m really excited to learn with you.

Traci Morrow:

You know, I think this is so funny. We talked about it a little bit before, but I have to say the funny thing about this is I’m dealing with some things that this is kind of a perfectly timed lesson for me because I am struggling a little bit, truthfully, with my attitude. Now, some of you might be like, but you’re such a positive person. But a positive person, that’s a quality but a good attitude is a skill that people need to develop because you can have a positive a positive attitude is a quality that can quickly circle the drain and go right down the drain and out to the ocean as soon as something bad happens. If you have not developed the skill of having a good so, you know, any quality that isn’t developed just can quickly fade. And so I have really been working on for years, I’ve worked on developing the skill of having a good attitude, which John is so amazing at. I even have pulled out my books that if you are on YouTube, you can see they are tabbed and marked the difference maker, the winning attitude, your key to personal success. Because I have been talking to myself. I’ve been letting John talk to me and work on my attitude. Because when things get hard, the first thing to be challenged is my attitude. So I find it ironic that we’re talking about attitude. If any of you are listening and you’re ugh, you’re talking about attitude. I’m right there with you, friend. And I am working on this as well.

Mark Cole:

Tracy, hold up your books again because I’ve got the book too. And by the way, I’m going to give you a discount. So get ready to write down only Tracy Morrow has hairdos for her bookmark. Now, granted, it’s a bad hair day for her bookmarks, but it’s a bad hair day. But you can see Tracy Morrow bookmarks. Hey, seriously, that’s just another incentive to get you to watch YouTube. But the difference maker, this book that Tracy just held up. I also have it here as well. If this lesson has already convicted you, go to the show Notes. We’ll have this book there. You can enter the promo code podcast. You’ll get a 15% discount. That’s our gift to you. Podcast listener, podcast viewers. But Tracy. Yeah. This whole concept of the winning attitude, the difference maker, it is a skill that can be recognized as a good quality, but it starts with honing, developing, and strengthening the skill. That is a mic drop moment right there. Great job.

Traci Morrow:

Yeah. Thank you. And I’ve worked on it for a long time. I’m currently working on it because sometimes I don’t want to have to deal with the things that make me that stretch my attitude. And I’m working on it right now. And I have a sign that we hang down in the basement here, and it says, attitude is a choice. Pick a good one. And that’s as much to my kids and now grandkids as it is to me. And sometimes I put word things up around my house you can kind of see live a good story. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you learn over my shoulder. Those are to myself. So words matter to me. And so when I am feeling something, I will look at those words, and that’s a message to me. And John talks about ability is what you are capable of. Motivation determines what you do. So I’m teaching myself. I’m bathing my brain and trying to have a good attitude about something that I don’t really want to have to currently deal with. So, Mark, you and I are both probably naturally positive people, but that doesn’t mean it necessarily makes it easier for us to have a good attitude when we don’t feel like having a good attitude. And so I’m just curious when you can tell that your attitude is slipping if you’re maybe around a bad situation or people who maybe have a bad attitude because it can be catchy, how do you check or keep your attitude in check when you feel it start to slip?

Mark Cole:

Well, let me illustrate that it’s a choice.

Traci Morrow:

First, teach me. Teach?

Mark Cole:

Well, I don’t know that I’m going to be able to teach you, but let me remind you, perhaps. But I won’t be able to teach you on this because I watch you. Imagine telling somebody you know that you want to respect you, somebody that you want to impress, and you’re telling them your greatest challenge right now. And maybe it’s your kids. They have just frustrated you to death. Maybe it’s a work situation. Somebody that you have been extremely generous to now calls you selfish, and it just frustrates you like crazy. Pick the scenario that seems to grab you the most. Now imagine you’re forced to tell that two different times, the same story, two different times to two different people. The first is to somebody you respect and love. And you hang on their every word. You want them to have an incredible opinion of you and see you as this great person to add to their circle. How do you describe that frustrating circumstance? It’s very calm, calculated. It’s very vanilla. It’s very I need help here. Teach me a great one. Now, imagine going home and the second person you tell is your significant other, that kid. What’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with that situation? Attitude is a choice because you can articulate the same struggle, feel the same emotions, but depending on who your audience is, depends on how you present that in the form of a bad attitude, where you can just be raw and angry or a good attitude. I’m trying to learn and become better. And I watch people say, Attitude is not a choice. That just gets me. And I go, no, it doesn’t get you the same when you’re a more calm, calculated person as it does when all the restraints are down and you feel like you can just be yourself. Well, in the area of attitude, you can never quote just be yourself. Because as Tracy’s already taught us, as John’s teaching us here, your attitude is a choice, and you must choose it and guard it and protect it and make disciplined decisions about it, whether you’re in a safe space or whether you’re in an impress everybody around me space, your attitude is a choice.

Traci Morrow:

Yeah, absolutely. And I find that when he said the happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. And I’m 53 years old. What are some things I’ve learned in my life? I have learned that when I feed the grumpy side of me or a bad attitude in me, it very quickly makes me feel bad, and everything just goes downhill really fast. But when I feed a positive attitude and I choose to not feed the negative emotion, if I choose to develop the skill and flex my muscle, let’s just say, of a good attitude, then I actually can train my brain to look for positive things. Not ignoring necessarily or keeping my head in the clouds and ignoring reality, but looking for positive things. In those moments, like John says, where we choose to look for the good rather than focusing on the bad, actually things can start to feel better rather than feel so deeply terrible. And that is why when he says the happiest people can appear to have everything, it really, truly is a choice, and every one of us can choose that. I feel like that is such an it really is something that we can all choose. And it’s a lesson. It really is a lesson.

Mark Cole:

Yeah. When you were talking, I thought, the spiral is real. The spiral? You’ve heard of people spiraling? Boy, you start that negativity, you meet that negativity. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Well, here’s a thought. Why don’t you turn the spiral upside down, and why don’t you see if you can start at the base with all this negativity? Can you find that one driving positive thought that you can begin spiraling up and lift your spirit and then the spirit of those around you? I can remember a particularly difficult leadership decision to where I knew the outcome was coming three years before it happened. Talking about seeing more and before I was seeing more, before it was going to be an ugly finish to a very difficult situation. It took three years for it to unfold. Tracy when it unfolded, I can remember for about three minutes, and literally, that’s all it was. I thought the world had come to an end. All of a sudden, this wasn’t even somebody around me. All of a sudden, I looked at myself in the mirror and I went, mark, you have anticipated this for three years. It’s happened. Why are you spiraling now? Be thankful you finally got to the outcome that you’ve been anticipating. It may be painful for a moment, but you have now finally arrived at something that you’ve been preparing for for a long time. So stop the spiraling. Unfortunately, my image in the mirror actually listened to this time. I literally was able to say, Stop spiraling down. And do you know, almost instantly. Tracy the perspective about a difficult situation and the weight and the difficulty of that situation that I had anticipated for a long time, I began to see clarity in it, and I began to see finality in it finally happening, and I began to see hope in what was going on. And the difficulty and the challenges were swirling around me, but I was above it because I turned that funnel upside. I turned that spiral upside down and began to spiral to the bright spot above all the mess.

Traci Morrow:

It makes me think of a drill. If any of you have ever run a drill where you are, like maybe drilling a screw into the wall when you get the drill going one way, it drills the screw into the wall. But if you just click a little button, it actually will pull the screw out of the wall. And it’s the exact same thing of what you’ve just described. And it’s point number two. Your attitude determines your actions. You are not what you think you are, but what you think you are. What you did is instead of just like, oh, this is what I thought it was going to be, it was you chose to go, no, I’m going to stop and I’m going to think, and then that’s what it’s going to is. That can be kind of a mindbender, that whole point that John said, you’re not what you think you are, but what you think you are. If you really pause to contemplate that statement, we really have the power to change our attitude, to retrain the way that we think that that becomes our reality. And it’s a crazy thing to think, but it really does determine the way that we behave. Then I’d love to go to number three. Was there anything on number two that you wanted to hear?

Mark Cole:

No. You’re good.

Traci Morrow:

Let’s do number three. Okay. So number three, he said, our people are like mirrors. They reflect our attitudes in life. And I kind of hit it on point number one. But attitudes really are catchy. And so if you’ve ever been in a meeting and you might have come to that meeting, whether it’s with your kids and you’re talking to your kids about it, god help us all if we have teenagers. I’ve got two. I know mark has one. This is very common when you’re talking to teenagers. I was a youth pastor for eleven years, so this happened many times. But if you’re in a business meeting and you have the team together and you’re excited about something and there’s somebody who has a bad attitude, it can be so catchy very quickly, it can spiral down very quick. And so John is saying that our people are like mirrors, and that reflects the attitudes around us. So as a leader, Mark, how do you lead when the reflection of one of the team members is negative and it’s not reflecting back well for you when you’re in a meeting and it’s going downhill fast?

Mark Cole:

Yeah. There’s two thoughts that come to mind when you ask that question, and I want to give you the challenging one first, and that is when a teammate, a team member, has lost the vision of what we’re trying to do. I get the incredible privilege of hosting in August, truly, our 24th International Maxwell Conference, where thousands of people will come in. Tracy, you’ll be there. And we’ve had a significant number of changes as we transition and transform ourselves to be more effective globally and to local people, people that are familiar with it. It has been a very challenging because all of the new people come in and say, man, this thing is the greatest it’s ever been. And there’s a temptation to say, oh, if you think this is great, you should go back to the days when there wasn’t so much Chris. Or there’s the temptation to say, this is not when somebody finds something negative to say, oh, yeah, it is negative. And let me tell you, that didn’t used to be this way. I have found that we call them our team ambassadors, and I get to meet with them a little bit later after the recording of this podcast. And I have watched these women and men champion the impact of the experience more than focusing on the challenges and the changes that every event, every experience has. But I remember one particular one that they were more frustrated than their passion to serve others could sustain. They’re very passionate about serving others and I remember this was about eight years ago, and this was a particular changing year as well. And I remember them coming to me. I was not really over the event at the time. I was the CEO, but I had great leadership in place. And they came to me with just staggering observations of how we had lost our way. And everything was extremely different, and everything was a challenge. And I looked at them and I said, do me a favor and I want you to take your volunteer hat off and become a participant. Because if you have forgotten what this experience does, despite the changes or not in your own life, you can never champion that impact in someone else’s life. Tracy they took me up on the challenge. They took their volunteer badge off. They went and got a packet. They sat through the event. They came up to me at the end of the event and they said, mark Cole, this event was better to me than the first time I came, because I realized once again that no matter the changes, the aesthetics and all of that, the spirit, the heart behind this experience is what changes people. Not the size of the screen, not the programmatic flow. It is the spirit and the focus around this of people wanting to do significant things. We have an event every year. It’s typically closed by this time, but it’s open. And they were just telling me today, and I thought about this event when we’re talking about our people are like mirrors. They reflect our attitudes in life. Every November, we have an event called Exchange. Now, this is an event that exposes the participants to excellence, expertise, and experiences that are unprecedented. I mean, it is John Maxwell seal of approval. It’s about 140 people. It’s powerful. This year, we’re going to be in Las Vegas, and the theme this year is going to be creativity and innovation in leadership. And we’ve got some of the most innovative minds in Vegas, the behind the scenes minds that’s going to come in and make this a really cool experience with great exposure, great excellence. Now, I bring that up one, because I want to invite you. We’ve had several people from the podcast in years past come as a first experience with us. You can go to Exchange.MaxwellLeadershio.com. Exchange.MaxwellLeadership.com. You can get more information. There’s information in the show notes that’ll get you to that link. But here’s the story. Tracy during COVID many of these people have been there 10–12 years. We had a remnant of people that said, please have an exchange. We’ll come. We’ll do all the protocol, but please have an exchange. Now, these people you’ll see in the information, this is an event that you’ll pay to be in the room. It’s a high end, high experience event. It will not disappoint again. We want to have you, but it’s a powerful vet. You’ve been Traci. This particular year, we had to pivot in 90 days. We had to create an experience unlike anything else. And I’m talking about we’ve helped manufacture Boeing Seven Seven Seven. S, we’ve on this. We have sit in the symphony pit with the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra. We’ve done some of the most radical, experiential things at this event. This particular year, it was 2021. COVID was happening, and people still wanted to have the event. Our team pivoted, and they became a mirror of excellence in their attitudes. It was hard. There were so many regulations, there were so many restrictions. We even had three people that we had to pull out because we had to quarantine because of COVID And we had several different things that we had to deal with that was unprecedented. And I watched a team that what normally takes about 15 months of planning shrink it down to three months. And the results, the response and the passion and the people that signed up at the back of the room for the next year was unprecedented. Why? Because people will mirror the attitude of the organization. And John Maxwell that year said, if our most valued customers needed interaction and relationship at any other time more than now, I don’t know it, guys, let’s go create something that will be safe, something that will be mindful of everybody, but something that will be an experience for them to have as well. And the team did it. Why? Because, again, your attitude of the leader, the attitude of the organization, is mirrored in the people that represent the organization.

Traci Morrow:

Yeah, it’s an amazing thing to be a part of. And I will also say as a participant, and then I’ll move to the next thing it really does. Like, we’re talking about this book, the Difference Maker. Everything Mark just describes, if you’re listening to this as a leader and you’re know, there are things in change and things that hardship. As a leader, I have a bad attitude about those things. I don’t know that I would have gone on and still created the event. This book is as a leader, you might be listening to that and thinking, oh, I would be interested in that. Going to an event like that is where you see how the organization handles leadership obstacles like that, which is what this book talks about. Like the five attitude obstacles. We all have attitude obstacles. And this book also so an event teaches you live how you watch, how the team does it. And then this book, really why I love this book and why I’m currently going through it again, is the five attitude obstacles are discouragement, change, problems, fear, and failure. And all of those are at any event that you do or any kind of business that you do or even in running a family. And so I just want to put that little bug in your ear as you’re listening and you’re like, yeah, but you don’t know what I’m currently going through. Maybe it’s family and your professional life at the same time that’s currently me. I’ve got two things kind of doubling up on me and doubling down. And so that’s when you really need to see excellence at its finest. And that’s when Mark and John are such great mentors because you get to see it live. And what they do is they talk about it live as it’s happening. They don’t do it behind the scenes. They explain it as it’s happening. So I would like to go to the next question. When he talks about maintaining the right attitude is easier than regaining the right attitude, that’s kind of like momentum. When John talks about it’s easier to keep momentum than to lose it and start it up again. But I’m curious for you, Mark, as a positive person, but who obviously has to I mean, you can’t have the life and the responsibility that you have as a leader and not struggle with losing a good attitude at times. What does an attitude adjustment look like for you? Like John jokingly laughs about Margaret telling, like, hey, John, you’re Mr. Attitude. What about this? I cannot help but think that there are people listening to this who would go, I would never want my spouse to be the one to call me out on my bad attitude. Some people can’t. Like, for me, that’s something. Casey would be like, hey, come on, watch your attitude. That’s something in my marriage would be he would call me out on it. But is that something that you and Stephanie or is it your team? What does an attitude adjustment look like for Cole?

Mark Cole:

Yeah, it’s funny. And then there’s other listeners that are going, yeah, I tried that with my significant other and one arm less later, I don’t think I’ll do that anymore. So we probably have the spectrum of two that says, been there, done that, threw the T shirt away. Never going to think about that again. No, I think that the first thing that I’ll tell you is I have found even in the most unemotional aware people that we know when we’re having an attitude challenge. And I think the first thing that we have to do, and maybe it’s writing it 50 times a day for 50 days, we need to go, I will choose a better attitude because I think there is something in all of us that we realize when we’re off our game with an emotional challenge or a frustration. And it’s kind of like we already know there’s going to be a problem because we’ve already determined that morning there’s going to be a problem. So we’re just looking for the problem to appear and there’s just this emotion. And I will tell you, I think it starts accountability on attitude issues starts first with us determining that when we detect you got to be honest with yourself. But when we detect that there is an attitude struggle, that there is a challenge, that there is a dose of negativity, there’s a dose of just really ready to pick a fight or really ready to have a challenge, that we take a moment, grab some breath, deep breath, and then purpose that we’re going to choose a good attitude, now, that’s very hard to do, but Tracy started this whole our part of applying John’s teaching today. Tracy started it by saying good attitude is a quality, but it is even more so a skill. The skill starts within. My challenge to all of you is begin to recognize and call yourself out on it before you ask somebody else to call them out on it. Because again, I’m going to tell you when I get in an attitude funk, I am not good at having anybody inner circle, trusted friend, significant other. I’m not good with anybody wanting to point out my attitude when I’m having a bad attitude. You just gave me a bigger reason to have a bad attitude. I’m not proud of that, but I already know that walking in. And so to put somebody up in the guillotine and say, hey, will you hold me accountable for my attitude, guys, that takes a very brave person with a whole lot of thick skin and it’s not an easy task when you give somebody else what you should have yourself accountability to your own attitude. Now, having said that, some of us are a little more blind and a little less caring of what kind of attitude we have. I got it. My challenge to you would be to find that person in your life, those few people that you give a safe word to or an entry into speaking into your life even in the most difficult times with a commitment to say, bring it to me. I will listen and I will respond in a hungry, open, humble way. I think that absolutely works. I think another thing that I would challenge all of us to do is to surround yourself with people that have the attitude that you want and watch how they do it. Because again, it’s a skill they developed. Even if they have a natural propensity to positivity, they still have developed that skill of maintaining the right attitude along the way.

Traci Morrow:

Yeah. And I think ear mark this podcast as a reminder. I find that when I bathe my brain, that’s why I have my bad hairdo books. I have these books out because just thumbing through know, John will say when I read a book, I will mark the book, highlight it and mark it and make notes to myself. And then he goes back and he reads his own markings and highlightings and he’ll say then the book mark me. And so when I’m feeling that way, I know myself well enough. I can say to my kids, to my husband, to my family, it’s not often, but it’s when things are pressing in on me that I might say I’m having a bad attitude today. I need to work on myself. I’m honest with myself. I’m not like just like know, grumbly bear. But I will come to these books and I will let them mark me. I play this again and I find my spirits bullied. I will honestly listen to Mark and I again, I’ll hear Mark and I’ll have my spirits lifted. I’ll read from John, I’ll have my spirits lifted and then I can re approach a situation in a way that I feel raised a little bit because I’ll close and I’ll let you close out with your closing thoughts. But I wrote a note that was like remembering what John said to me one time and I’m sure all of you who have ever heard John speak, he said it all things equal attitude sets you apart. It’s the difference maker, which is why he wrote this book. And I have to remember that things that make a difference are the things that I can control and I can develop my attitude as a skill. So even when I feel like I’m slipping a little bit because things are pressing in on me, I remember that this is what our community is for, is we don’t have to be perfect. We’re here to come and encourage one another on to have a good attitude so that we can show up better as better leaders with good attitudes.

Mark Cole:

Yeah, I agree. I think that’s a mic drop moment. I’m not even going to wrap on that because I think you did good. I do want to wrap, however, with a great question. One of our listeners listened to the podcast the Ten Stages of a Successful Dream. Part one. I remember this podcast, it impacted me. It still to this moment impacted me. We’ll put it in the show notes for those of you that want to watch both part one and part two, we’ll put that in. But this particular podcast listener, by the way, has a very smart mom and dad. They named him Mark and I just think that that’s just brilliant personified right there. Mark, not only do I love the fact that you ask a question, I want more of you podcast listeners to ask questions. Let me and my co host answer the questions for you. But Mark asked a question and then made a very vulnerable observation about himself and I’m going to read it. Mark said, what is the root cause? So Tracy, this is the question for you and then I’ll come behind and give a little bit of extra answer there. What is the root cause of someone who waits to be called upon to action rather than being assertive and adding value? That’s the question. Mark said, sometimes I find myself waiting to be recognized and called upon, which gives me motivation. But how do I transition to just being as valuable as much as possible. So, Tracy, someone that really has something to say, but they don’t say it. What’s the root cause of that, in your opinion?

Traci Morrow:

In my opinion, that would just be a lack of confidence and maybe lack of practice of really feeling, like, belief in yourself, that you have something good to say. It’s saying that you do know that you have something to share and you’re waiting to be called out. It’s okay for you to learn that if you have something to share, that you can step forward and share that you do have something that adds value to someone and making sure that it’s something that it’s adding value to them. Not thinking, oh, I’m waiting for my chance to step up onto stage and for everyone to hear me. But when it really comes from a place of wanting to add value to people, I think people can feel that spirit in you and they receive it.

Mark Cole:

Yeah, I would agree with you, Tracy. I think, Mark, the thing that I’ve seen with a lot of people is it’s a fear or I’ve seen it, and I’m going to use this as an example in just a moment, but I’ve seen it to where people are internal processors and they want to make sure that it is fully processed before they speak. I’ve seen others that want it to be perfect, so they don’t want to go through the process of giving input that’s not that good at first. They expect perfection before practice. And so what I would tell you, Chris Goede, who co hosts this podcast with me often for years, he would sit in a leadership room, and I would get a lot from him in the debrief, but I would get nothing from him during the leadership meeting. And I finally looked at him and I said, Chris, use your voice. And he said, Mark, I need to verbally process. I need to get it out. Excuse me? Not verbally process. I need to go process it and then get it out. And I said, well, here’s your ultimatum. Start contributing in my leadership meetings, or you’re not going to be in my leadership meetings anymore. Chris I mean, Mark Chris stepped up. And if he were here today, in fact, I’ll tell this story in a coming week and get him to reiterate that story to happen. Just like that. I was sitting at a Ted’s Montana grill having a buffalo burger, okay? I can remember the whole thing. And I just said, chris, I’ve told you all I know how to tell you. Start using your voice, because I love the way he processed. But it was always a day late and a dollar short, and the team had already disassembled. And I said, Chris, I’m just going to tell you, start using your voice or you’re going to be uninvited to my leadership meetings. He began to use it. It wasn’t great at first, it was nowhere near as good as it was afterwards. But I had patience with him and I allowed practice and working it to now when he speaks now truly in a leadership meeting, everybody listens and he thinks and he has gotten better, mark, because he just did it. So, mark, here’s what’s holding a lot of people back. They just won’t do it. They will excuse it. They will pretend they don’t want to say anything, but they won’t. Just put themselves out there. Put yourselves out there, Mark. I guarantee it’ll work. Hey. Two call to actions today. One, traci and I held it up. But go find the difference maker book that will absolutely reiterate what we learned here. You got a way to get a discount there in the show notes and then go check out exchange.Maxwellleadership.com, join us. We have a couple extra spots this year. We don’t always a lot of times it sells out before the previous events ever done. It’s sold out the next year. But we have a cole of spots left this year. Want to invite our podcast listeners that would like to come be a part of that with us? Hey. Thank you. We do what we do because we want you to be better at what you do because everyone deserves to be led well.